


Us Against the World

by Rainpebbles



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Character Development, Criminal AU, Dark-ish Alec and James, Development is not just for kids!, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gray hats, Grey Wardens, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic to Adult Fic, M/M, No underage, Recovery, Threesome - M/M/M, mentions of abuse, off screen abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainpebbles/pseuds/Rainpebbles
Summary: James and Alec didn't know what to expect when a little boy calling himself Q somehow fell into their laps claiming people were after him. They certainly didn't expect to be dragged into the mess of the criminal world, let alone how their lives would be forever shaped by labeling themselves as Q's protectors.Despite all the pain, blood and chaos that followed, they would never regret taking Q under their wing. He was theirs. And they were his. Always.
Relationships: James Bond/Alec Trevelyan, James Bond/Q, James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan, Q/Alec Trevelyan
Comments: 38
Kudos: 121





	1. Bruises

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, oh man. Time for another story to begin!!!! I really hope you all enjoy the story. This is my first time writing a love story between three people, but I'm really enjoying the dynamic and I hope you do too!
> 
> About this Story!
> 
> -Every chapter will have a Past and Present section. The past will be from when Q, James and Alec met at the boys home and everything leading up to how they fell into their lives as grey hats. The two parts will always have a small link/theme between them, if you like things like that.
> 
> -Eventually, in the last chapter, the Past will finally catch up and I expect then a LOT of things will make sense (so bear with me if things seem odd. A lot of things happen between the past and present)
> 
> -Despite the three of them meeting and getting close in the Boys Home, there will be no romantic relationships until the three of them are all adults. 
> 
> -This is a bit dark in places, so I will try to place warnings in the beginning notes if I think there may be an upsetting part in a chapter.
> 
> -POV switch between James and Alec primarily with maybe small bits from Q later on
> 
> -This chapter is short compared to the one to follow, just FYI
> 
> ENJOY!!!!

The air was just starting to move from refreshingly cool to bitingly bitter when the old black car rolled into the driveway of the St. Francis’ Home for Boys. Both James and Alec watched as the sputtering vehicle stopped just at the entrance of the old brick building, a sight they had witnessed too many times before. It was a wonder that the car could still even turn on, let alone survive multiple trips to pick up more unfortunates to join their wretched group here.

James remembered being picked up in that same car five years before. Even now he could recall when the dying engine sound had been foreign and new, even when now it was painfully familiar. He was sure Alec could remember too, but he didn’t like to talk about his life in the home before James arrived. This wasn’t a place where a boy came to by happy after all. This was merely a place that society dumped you when you had no one else left to care about you. And it looked like society had shat out another poor soul that was doomed to this life like the rest of them.

“I bet you mopping duties that this one takes his hand,” Alec muttered darkly, leaning back against the chimney stack that hadn’t been used since the 1800’s.

James’ lips twitched in some semblance of a smile as they stared down from their hidden perch on the roof. The only place that they hadn’t been found yet, “I’ll take that bet.”

They watched as the head caretaker, Mr. Frond, came waddling out from the doors as he always did when ‘welcoming’ their latest victim of life. The short and bloated man was not necessarily cruel in his mannerisms or personality, that was left to the assistant caretakers. His cruelty came in the form of his neglect and blindness. Rarely had he ever listened when some bruised-up child had come to him in tears, claiming there was a bully after him. He would instead just pat them on the head and tell the boy that they were all one big happy family here and it was just an accident. Rarer still, he never saw that their ‘home’ was properly seen to. _Building character_ , was his favorite excuse for anything that someone complained about. The hot water never getting above room temperature built character. Moldy food built character. Scratchy blankets built character. It was a wonder that the lot of them didn’t bust at the seams by their first week after enduring so much _character._

With faded interest, they continued to watch as Frond walked up to the car. Usually the boy, always sitting in the back seat, would cautiously crawl out while the driver reluctantly pulled a battered suitcase from the trunk. That was when Frond would step in and cheerily welcome some tear stained child into his new home with a smile that was too big for anyone to stand, especially one just coming off of the worst day of their lives.

This time though, the door didn’t open from the inside. The driver walked his way around, not pulling anything from the trunk, and roughly yanking the door open before nearly diving into the back seat.

Neither James nor Alec reacted beyond mere quirks of their brows as the driver wrestled some tiny little thing from the back seat, nearly slipping in the mud as he struggled to get hold of the flying limbs of the kid.

“That’s new,” James intoned blandly. Alec merely grunted in agreement as they continued to observe.

They could hear agitated voices from the two adults below, but no actual words. It took a few minutes, and the intervention of both men before they managed to pull the tiny little form from the car and settle it on two feet.

“Oh look, James. They brought us a scrawny kitten,” Alec commented as they took in the small boy that stood reluctantly before Frond and the driver. They couldn’t make out much beyond dark hair, a lot of it, and a slight figure under a jacket that was clearly not his own since it hung off of him like elephant skin. Pale skin. The kind that would bruise far too easily. That is if he wasn’t bruised up already. They got a lot of pre-broken in boys here.

“A kitten that did not want to leave the car it seems. Smart,” James replied, kicking at some loose patches of roofing. Not like one more leak in the ceiling would kill them if it hadn’t already.

As expected, Frond eventually patted down his rumpled tweed jacket and put out his hand to the small figure before him. James and Alec exchanged glances. Mopping duty was on the line.

The hand remained outstretched as the little form stared at it for a mere moment before slowly bypassing Frond and wearily making his way into the building without a word. Frond only watched, shocked, for a second or two before waving off the driver and waddling his way after his newest charge.

“I hope those floors are extra gloopy for you, Alec,” James said with a small grin.

Alec groaned, “How about a double or nothing on the next wager?”

James raised a brow, mildly intrigued, “And that wager is?”

“How long you think the little kitten will last before he breaks.”

“…two weeks.”

Alec chuckled, but there was no mirth in it, “I give him one.”

* * *

PRESENT

“James, if you would kindly pull your head out of your ass and remain focused, you both may just make it out of this alive and in time for your flight home.”

_“Oh, come on, Q. This is hardly any more difficult than any of the other milk runs you’ve sent us on,”_ came Alec’s voice crackling over his headset.

Q sighed, blinking his eyes against the harsh blue light of the multitude of screens around him, “If you consider stealing an arms dealer’s inventory and customer’s list equivalent to a milk run then we are going to have words about your tactics the next time you need to run to the shops.”

James’ grunt came out over the frequency, _“I actually meant to ask you about that, Q. I noticed you were running low on your favorite tea stocks before we left. Are you going to be okay until we get back?”_ he asked, his voice as serious as if he was asking if Q were bleeding out from a gut shot.

Biting his lip, Q’s gaze drifted off to the corner of the room where a full shopping bag lay on the kitchen counter, “Um, I found some hidden, but I’d be fine even if I didn’t. I can survive a day or two without tea, I’ll have you know.”

There was a brief pause in the noise over the comms, probably Alec and James switching it off to talk privately. They didn’t do that often, knowing that it made Q worry that something else had turned the comms off more violently, but every once in a while they did it anyway.

_Probably making fun of me,_ Q thought to himself, rolling his eyes at their sometimes childish nature. After knowing them for over a decade, he had grown used to it. Perhaps even fond, though he would never say as much out loud.

A soft click came over his headset, signaling them signing back on.

“Are you quite done talking about me behind my back?” Q asked, his eyes flicking from one screen to the next as he followed their progress through the hacked security cameras. He watched as Alec and James huddled up on either side of a door, guns held high and at the ready before Alec and James simultaneously stepped forward to kick in the door, knocking it right off of its hinges.

Q felt his cheeks grow hot at the show of brute strength his lovers so casually showed off. He knew better than most just how strong those thighs were. Not like his own that he could wrap his hands around, fingers meeting easily around the thin limb. Alec did say it made grabbing onto him a damned lot easier though.

_“There’s nobody even here,”_ Alec said, sounding put out as they stepped into the room where the computer with the intel was located.

“Well then this should be quick then, as long as you two don’t get bored and start shooting things for fun,” Q replied, fingers at the ready as he watched James carefully place the virus ridden thumb drive into the computer.

_“It’s in”,_ James said shortly.

Q immediately got to work, following the tag on his thumb drive to quickly locate the computer. Already it was working its magic, blasting its way through any and all of the firewalls and passwords in its way as Q skillfully egged it along. It was mere minutes before information was being sucked onto the drive like a vacuum.

_“How much longer, kitten?”_

Rolling his eyes at the name, Q continued to type even as he replied, “ _Q,_ is almost done. Thirty seconds more and you can pull out the drive and be on your way. You should note that there are five guards on patrol along the plan A escape route.”

He saw James and Alec exchange glances out of the corner of his eye on one of the feeds.

_“And plan B’s route?”_ James asked, the grin on his face growing wide.

“Three,” Q replied promptly.

Alec chuckled darkly, _“Plan A it is then.”_

“I don’t know why I bother with the pair of you idiots,” Q said dryly, already having pulled up the feeds for route A having guessed what his moronic lovers would choose.

_“Because you love us,”_ came Alec’s cheery reply.

_“And several less baddies left in the world in the long run,”_ James added, reloading his gun with deft hands.

“In case it’s slipped both of your minds, we’re just taking intel from one group of baddies and giving it to another,” Q said, taking a sip of his tea as the drive finished its work and was pulled from the computer by Alec. At least they were being efficient about that part at least, “Hardly seems like we’re doing much in the way of making the world a better place.”

* * *

Alec pocketed the drive and moved over to James’ side over by the door, gun held high and ready. Catching James’ gaze, Alec winked twice. It was a shared signal that the two of them had adopted years ago, when they had brought a terrified, emaciated, and traumatized Q into their home. It was to signal that they needed to be careful of the noise they were about to make, knowing that it had been a trigger in the past. Although, Alec couldn’t recall the last time that Q jumped out of his socks at the sound of glass breaking.

Perhaps they just hadn’t broken a lot of glass lately?

Even so, James nodded back firmly, agreeing to proceed carefully in that department, if not in the department of common sense like Q would have noted. That would lay down the plan B hallway. Well, that and hiding in the woods rather than making a getaway in a car. James and Alec knew the car would get them home faster, and to them, that made a lot more sense than stumbling around the woods for another day or two. Getting home to Q always took priority. He needed them.

“What’s the world ever done for us that it’s our place to try and make it less shitty? We’re just getting paid to help criminals fight criminals. I’d say that makes our net gain in this negligible,” Alec said softly, seeing James’ eyes flash in shared anger at the hand they’d been dealt.

Their lives had not been easy since leaving the boy’s home. Especially for Q, and both of them were loath to forget just what they all had to go through to end up here. The three of them, constantly hiding, moving often, never settling long, and all the while working whatever dirty jobs Q dug out of the pits of the internet for them. It was a dangerous way to live, but after everything they had been through, it also seemed the safest.

Even now, they could only breathe easy in the middle of a life threatening mission because they knew that their lover was hidden away in some no-name Irish village, never leaving the flat, the one that had no windows to peer into and had enough locks on their door to look like they were about open up a locksmithing business. Ireland had been a good choice this time though, their looks and accents not making them stand out as much like they had elsewhere. The country safe enough that they didn’t worry about Q’s safety on a daily basis. Not when they brought him everything he needed to survive.

They heard Q sigh over the comm, but it sounded more sad than rueful like it normally did when faced with Alec’s worldly philosophy. James looked like he was about to open his mouth to ask what was wrong, when Q cut in sharply.

_“The patrol is just about to swing your way. Twenty seconds until they pass the room you’re in. if you take them all out, you’ll have a clear path to the window. Car is still parked beneath it.”_

Beside him, Alec felt James’ muscles tense at the ready, his breaths measure carefully to sync up with his partner’s. Holding still, the two of them could just start to make out the sounds of approaching footsteps. Neither of them moved yet though. They had all done this so many times before that they hardly needed to think about what came next.

The two of them listened and waited for the sound of Q’s voice. Like dogs waiting for the command of their master.

_“Incoming in five, four, three, two…one.”_

Alec and James immediately started to shoot through the door, rapid fire, hearing the squeals of the men on the other side, just like Q had predicted.

They would only shoot for fifteen seconds, before he and James would pocket their guns again and slam the door open, catching any lucky survivors by surprise.

This time, it looked like there were two bloodied, but upright survivors. Perfect.

James dove to the left, like he always did, while Alec took the right to meet up with their new opponent. These were career criminals, and not to be underestimated, seeing as the met the pair of them with vigorous strength that one could only earn from a lifetime of fighting dirty. Guns were difficult at this close of a range, and after the second case of friendly fire beratement and bandages, Q had finally gotten the two of them to promise to not fire wildly in tight quarters, such as a hallway, while in the middle of a physical fight. Unless they saw a real opening that is.

Their foes did not have such commands from a higher power it seemed, and were both struggling to find time to reach for their belts where handguns were neatly tucked. Alec and James of course would not let them even get their fingers close to the handles. Easiest way to do that would be to rid them of their burdens.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec saw James purposefully take a gut punch, using the moment to bend over and snatch the gun away from his thug of the hour. Letting his own thug clip his chin with a fist, Alec was able to make a grab for the other gun. They were armed once more, and the others were not.

Watching the realization dawn on them that they had lost their little toys was always the best part. Alec grinned ferally as he stepped back two steps as James did the same, the two of them meeting shoulder to shoulder in front of their now cornered thugs.

“I’d say this counts as a real opening, don’t you?” James asked smugly, his lips twitching into a smirk despite the sluggishly bleeding lip he sported.

Alec chuckled darkly, “Why, I do think it is.”

“Shitty world, minus two baddies equals…”

“A shitty world.”

Both guns went off at the same time, the two bodies falling limply to the floor with clean bullets through their skulls, joining the other three of their dead companions from before.

_“Must you always say something so melodramatic before shooting them?”_

James and he wiped the guns down before tossing them, empty clipped, into the bloody pile. They had more guns, and far better guns, courtesy of their little boffin back home. They didn’t need to keep these, it would only weight them down.

“It’s part of the fun, Q. Coming up with those lines is how Alec and I pass the time on all those bloody long flights,” James said as they started down to the end of the hallway, where the large window stood. They were just starting to hear shouts from all directions, obviously alarmed by the sound of gunshots coming from this way. They’d have to move fast. Alec flexed his shoulders, already feeling the bruises that were about to be painted on his skin.

_“I suppose I just feel bad that those words are last thing they ever hear in this life. Always some witty-ish remark that they probably don’t even understand.”_

“One moment, Q. Still got to make our great getaway. See you on the other side,” James said, flicking off his earwig and glancing over to see Alec do the same.

The sound of running footsteps and shouting was getting closer. It was time.

* * *

Together the two of them charged forward, pulling their hats down over their faces just seconds before crashing their bodies through the window, glass shattering around them as the flew out into the air. Alec could almost hear his clothes ripping in a hundred places as they both tumbled to the ground, somersaulting into a grouch as they landed, only a few feet away from the car that Q had promised.

James flicked his comm back on before he had even stood fully upright, “Q, keys?”

_“Glove compartment,”_ came the immediate response.

Alec flung himself into the passenger’s seat, ripping open the glove box and digging out the keys as James took the driver’s seat. He always took the drivers seat. Well, always after the tenth vehicle that Alec had driven into a river. After that both James and Q had withheld sex until he agreed to let James always take the wheel. Unless James was incapacitated.

Unfortunately, he was very capacitated at the moment, which was almost a shame given how lovely the car was. He tossed James the key and they were revving off just before heads started to peak out of the broken window above.

They stayed silent until they had made it a good fifteen minutes away with no tails following them. Alec sighed, glancing over to take note of his lover’s condition. While covered in scratches form the window, none of them were more than what a cat may have given if you looked at them too long. The split lip was probably the worst of it, and they could easily clean that up before they reached the airport. The scratches may even look mostly healed by the time they made it back to Q.

That was good. Q always smiled brighter upon their arrival when they didn’t look like they’d stepped off the set of a zombie flick.

“Is he good?” Alec mouthed at James, jerking his chin in the direction of his ear.

James nodded, “Seems calm,” he mouthed back, “Probably didn’t hear anything.”

Alec sat back in his chair, finally relaxing at hearing that. Finally, he turned his own comm back on, hearing the familiar clacking of laptop keys filter in quietly. He’d never admit it out loud, but it was as soothing to him as the sound of rain of the roof.

_“Ah, Alec’s back on I see. Now’s a good a time as any to inform you that there are two tickets waiting for you at the airport under the secondary aliases I gave you before you left. You should be back here by mid morning tomorrow.”_

Alec sighed contently, “Another job well done then, kitten?”

_“As good as it can be, I suppose, although I reserve the right to change that assessment once I see the damage the two of you have done to yourselves this time.”_

“Bruises and scrapes, love. Nothing that a few of your little kisses can’t fix,” James said in a soothing tone. He was always the better of the two of them at calming Q, “We’ll be back and crowding up your little nest soon enough.”

_“I’ll hold you to that.”_

James smiled, pulling one hand off of the wheel to reach over and lay it on Alec’s thigh, giving it a small squeeze, “We hope you hold us to many things. Walls preferably.”

Q snorted indelicately, _“As if I could ever physically hold either of you two hippos against anything.”_

Alec barked out a laugh, “We love you too, kitten. Now I know you’ve been up far too long hacking into that poor unsuspecting criminal headquarters. Go off and get some sleep for us. We need you well rested for our return,” he said cheerily, lacking no small amount of lewdness in his voice.

_“I love you too. Both of you. Hurry back, please,”_ he replied softly, seemingly ignoring the implications.

“Goodnight, love,” James said warmly, squeezing Alec’s thigh again.

“Sleep well, _kotenok.”_

_“Goodnight….Idiots.”_


	2. Not A Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and James continue to watch the new kid settle in. 
> 
> The return from their latest job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an amazing response to the first chapter, omg! I'm so glad everyone is liking it so far!!!! *happy scream*
> 
> Bit of fluff this time around. No warnings for this chapter :)

PAST

A few weeks passed, passing by both of the dates of their chosen bets. By their own official rules, a doubled bet lost by both meant even splitting of the loser’s quarry. Given that the bet was over mopping, James could hardly be mad about it. After all, mopping was by far more interesting with Alec around, probably because little mopping actually got done. 

No more boys had been dropped off in the last few weeks, which meant that the small boy from that night remained far too popular for his own good. It was like placing a fresh bucket of chum in a small pool full of sharks. It didn’t help much that it was a very small and vulnerable looking bucket of chum. 

They had gotten their first close up look at the boy at breakfast the next day. There were a good sixty boys living here, even though if safety codes meant anything there should have only been forty at most, but it was easy to spot a new face among the crowded tables. Know thy enemy and all that. 

James and Alec were of the older group, in their last years there before they would age out and be at the mercy of whatever society chose to do with young men with no money, family, or decent schooling. Usually, after being here for a few years you’ve either gained the reputation of someone not to mess with, or you have enough respect for surviving there that long that you’re ignored for the most part if one kept their heads down. He and Alec were a healthy hybrid of the two classes. Invisible at best, outsiders at worst. They were known to keep to themselves, but if any of the younger crowd still trying to establish themselves decided to bother them, they were known to hold their own in a fight. Well, perhaps more than hold their own. The last one to try was in hospital for a week. Mr. Frond was furious over the bills from that one. James swore that his arse still stung on occasion after the caning they got as punishment. 

So, during mealtimes, they were left alone at the edge of a long table, several seats left empty between them and the others despite how crowded it left the rest of the tables. They hardly minded. They didn’t need to talk to anyone else. 

Watching any new boy at their first meal here was usually another betting opportunity, but seeing as they already had one going on the poor bugger, they didn’t place the usual wagers down on where he’d attempt to sit. 

It seemed like the whole room turned and watched as Mr. Frond gently pushed the new boy into the room, and instructing him to go get his tray and eat. Vultures watching an ailing mouse almost.

From where James sat, his back to the wall and with full view of the room and anyone who dared try to sneak up on Alec, the mouse comparison was almost painfully accurate. The large jacket had made him look skinny the night before, but with it gone now he felt like he was looking at a scarecrow at best. The crown of dark curls made him look cherubic, and far too innocent for a place like this. Just by looking at him, James was starting to worry that Alec had the more accurate bet at one week before the breakdown. 

On hesitant feet, the boy had carefully walked over to the counter, pulling a tray of unappetizing looking oatmeal and a very bruised apple close to his chest. James watched closely, wondering where he would turn next.

Usually, they went for the most empty spot in the room, the seats near James and Alec, making them an open target. Those were the dumb ones. Those who were slightly smarter would see the hierarchy as soon as they entered, and attempt to join the group of larger kids, thinking they could possibly make friends and eventually be protected. This time though, James watched as sharp green eyes, almost hidden beneath massive glasses, scanned the room until it fell on the group of the smallest and youngest, huddled together closest to the exit. He walked over to them, dropping into a seat and eating his food without a word. 

It would label him a target, but a target within a sea of targets with a quick escape. There were no perfect choices after all, but this was at least the least stupid move. It showed he had no false sense of hope upon arriving here. 

After that James lost interest, and he turned his attention back to Alec who was busy plotting their next unauthorized nighttime field trip through the woods. 

They didn’t see much more of him beyond meal times for a while, but each time they did they noticed new bruises layering older ones, peppered on the small bits of collarbone revealed under his far too large jumper. Normally, this would be when most neared or hit their breaking point. The evidence was seen by what looked like permanent tear streaks stained on emotionally reddened cheeks. But from where James and Alec watched, perched up on brick walls or hidden away on the roof like observant crows, the newest little victim had yet to even sniffle. 

He wore a look though, but after many years of seeing different levels of sadness, it wasn’t one of defeat, but consternated resignation. Like this was the life he’d known he’d have for a while now and was already used to it. 

It didn’t paint a pretty picture from the life he may have been coming from, but very few of the ones coming here ever did. 

* * *

“Four weeks. I’m actually impressed.”

James glanced up at Alec, pausing in his slow destruction of the twig he’d been snapping a hundred times in hands. They were once again perched up high, on the tall brick wall that surrounded this prison that passed for an orphanage. The red dust from the crumbling bricks always got all over them, but nobody ever cared if the boys were dirty here, only if they tracked it in on the threadbare carpets.

Alec was peering down at the yard, where they forced all of the boys to stay rain or shine, snow or heatwave, for at least two hours a day to get ‘exercise’. James had always wondered what exactly they were supposed to accomplish with a patchy field of grass and a half-deflated ball that was perhaps white once but brown and yellow now. Perhaps that expected them all to organize some friendly game of tag or hide and seek, although James could think of nowhere to hide seeing as there was the building and then the wall with nothing in between. No games were ever played here, unless you counted the hunting that the groups of bullies liked to start up when they got bored. It wasn’t like they were being supervised by an adult after all. The wall was their babysitter. 

Today was a mild day at least, but it had been quite dry this season, leaving the yard very dusty, making all their throats tickle with irritation.

Quickly, James gaze caught sight of what drew Alec’s attention, noting that the new kid was doing what he normally did while herded outdoors. Sitting with his back against the building and legs tucked in tight against his chest, scant feet away from the doors, keeping to the same strategy he favored during mealtime. The posture made him look scared, but his face remained impassive as it could, as if by remaining blank he’d become invisible to the rest of them. He seemed to be forcing himself to breathe slowly.

James hummed absently, “He has shown a lot more common sense than most. I heard that he got jumped again in the back hall while heading to the nurse’s station,” he commented idly. They weren’t much for gossip, but information was information and one never knew when it could come in handy. 

Alec grunted back, “I heard they do that almost every morning, if they wake up early enough to catch him. Daily visits to the nurse. Some sort of prescription you think? Or just figured he’d rather get beat on his way, close enough he doesn’t have far to crawl?”

They both chuckled without feeling. They didn’t delight in his pain, but dark humor was all they had left to make them smile sometimes.

It was strange that he continued to draw their attention, even after four weeks. Usually they chose to eventually look the other way, not wanting to observe any other misery beyond their own, but something about him kept drawing their gaze. Perhaps it was the mystery of him. Intrigue drawing them like moths to the flame.

Like how it had been a month, and James had not even heard the boy speak once. And even more, usually by the first day or two, the kids life story would be practically painted on the walls for all to see and sneer at, but so far they had not heard a whisper. 

“Think he’s a mute?” Alec asked after a few moments more passed with both of them staring down at the silent figure. 

James shook his head, “Nah, Radish and Beans would have already noticed him not making a peep during their punching sessions. Has he got a name yet?”

The naming system here at St. Francis’ was as complicated as it was juvenile. When a boy arrived, whatever their given name was would either undergo some sort of rhyming bastardization or they would be labeled as some other equally demeaning replacement name all together. Hence, names like Radish and Beans, would be considered normal. Rumor was that Radish was once Hamish, but it hardly mattered now that he was one of the largest bullies out there. Names were of little consequence. That is of course, unless they were like Alec and James, who kept their names only through repeated reminders with fists. Only the adults used the children’s real names regularly. 

“I heard him called Quinn by one of the ‘dults. No last name that I’ve heard. I think he was dubbed Scrap by Worm, but I don’t know if that’s stuck yet.”

“Their creativity is astounding,” James remarked dryly, tossing aside the last bit of branch he had, “I haven’t heard word of where he’s from yet. Either the adults are being hush hush about it, or perhaps it’s so boring that it hasn’t been worth the waste of breath in gossip.” Without even hearing him speak, they couldn’t even try to place him through an accent. 

He spared another moment to glance down at the boy, noting that he hadn’t so much as twitched a muscle. James could see though, under the large framed glasses, the beginnings of a puffed eye, which would no doubt become a large shiner by dinner. They must have gotten him again that morning. Something inside him twisted painfully, like it did whenever Alec came back to their bunk with some fresh injury.  _ Not right _ , is usually what that feeling translated to, but why the fuck would James care about what happened to this one when hundreds of boys had come and been a victim in the same way? Scrap, or whoever he was, was nothing special as far as he could tell. 

Still though, there must be some reason that he and Alec’s conversations had come up in more and more conversations between them. 

“You’re thinking quite hard over there, Jamesy,” Alec said lightly, tipping his chin up towards the sun and closing his eyes. 

“Anything thinking I do is hard to you, Alec. I swear, most of the time your brain is filled with air and potatoes.”

“Don’t insult potatoes. They’re the only thing edible in this place after all,” Alec snarked back. They both knew that Alec was far smarter than he let on. He was the type to keep him observations silent, taking in information like a sponge and storing it away for when it would eventually be useful. Still, Alec liked to keep an image of average about him when it came to intelligence. Kept everyone underestimating him, an excellent tactic in a place like this. 

James had to admit that was devoting a lot of mental energy towards that slip of a thing, and it was beginning to eat away at him more and more. Was it intrigue or something else? 

“You’re thinking about the boy,” Alec remarked casually. James whipped his head back, frowning when he saw Alec’s eyes were still closed, his body relaxed where he looked like a great big cat sunning himself. 

“So are you,” James countered, guessing, but Alec didn’t need to know that.

Alec shrugged, “I suppose I am.”

They fell silent for a beat.

“Why are we thinking about him?” James asked finally, letting annoyance slip into his voice like Scrap intruding in their mental space was all his fault. 

Finally, Alec sat back up, swinging his legs over the wall to let them dangle as he directed his gaze over to the object of their reluctant concerns, “It is a bit vexing, isn’t it? I don’t think I like seeing him beat up, but we’ve seen far more pathetic things than him go through worse, tears and all. Not sure why he suddenly makes me feel like I’ve got some sort of conscience. I don’t think I like it,” he said wrinkling his nose. 

James snarled, “Great, we’ve never even spoken to him and somehow he’s become our own Jiminy Fucking Cricket,” he said, angrily flicking some broken off brick chunks down to the ground. 

“Cricket would be a good name for him, yeah? He looks pocket sized.”

“Don’t you start.”

A slight breeze whistled its way into the yard, stirring up the dust around the different clumps of the boy’s home hierarchy. James watched blandly as Quinn…Scrap buried his face into his arms as his chest spasmed a few times as he coughed. The dust really was nasty today. It didn’t seem to bother the other clusters of boys much though, if their loud raucous laughter was anything to go by. Sometimes being the outsiders was something that James reveled in, not wanting to be categorized with the other boys who got their thrills by scaring others. Other times though, he did worry maybe being alone with Alec wasn’t by his own choice, but because they were even more scary than the bullies that ruled the yard and the halls. The thought was a sobering one, especially if he tortured himself by wondering what his parents would say if they saw him now, sitting there watching some boy who was far stronger than he first appeared getting beat on daily, and not doing anything to stop it.

“I’m thinking that we need to do something stupid,” Alec said finally, sounding confused at his own thought process.

James chuckled, “More stupid than usually you mean?”

Alec nodded slowly, “Yeah, I think I do.”

“And what would that be?”

Alec frowned deeply, “I think we need to help the poor bugger.”

“I think we do too,” James replied quickly, surprising himself by the answer, “What the hell is wrong with us?”

Alec sighed, shoulders stiffening when one group of boys walked a bit too close to their new ward than he liked. Thankfully, they didn’t stop to interfere with the folded up boy by the wall, instead walking right by over to one of the remaining patches of grass to sit on. 

“I don’t rightly know, but we need to help him like how we wished the world had helped us when we first got here,” Alec replied slowly, as if drawing his words from far deeper than his throat. 

James was a bit startled but hid it well. Alec never spoke of when he first arrived at the boy’s home, it was a forbidden topic even between the two of them. By his words alone, James knew that Alec was completely serious about this new task. 

James gave one short nod, “Okay.” His words were short, but it held the gravity of an oath. A promise to someone they had never even spoken to before.

Alec raised a brow, as if wondering why James was on board with this when he was usually the more logical of the two, but he didn’t question it, “Right then, how do we go about making our little cricket feel more at home?”

“This isn’t a home, Alec,” James snapped, “This won’t be a home for him, and it never has been for us. Homes are where you are safe and have no worries beyond what to have for dinner. What he needs is to be protected. This place will never be safe for someone like Quinn, so we’re going to be his protection now,” startling himself by the vehemence in his voice.

Alec only blinked once at James decree before nodding shortly.

“Alright then.”

* * *

PRESENT

This was perhaps one of the most innocent safe houses they’ve had up until this point. They had lived in everything from warehouses to attics in the past, all in different countries around the world. Ireland had been a calmer place to settle, their flat being inside a regular looking building, made all the more affordable due to the lack of windows making it less desired by others that weren’t them. They couldn’t move often though, the whole process having a heavy toll on Q as they had to pry him outside and keep him calm as they crossed borders. Moving was always done as necessity when their security had been compromised. Never more than that. 

It was on the smaller side than some of their past haunts too, but James hoped that it would translate to ‘cozy’ once they had settled in some more. James and Alec were only there about a quarter of the time anyway, leaving Q to fill up the space as much as he could still being as lean as he was. 

Still, they always tried to spruce it up a bit, knowing that it would be all that Q would see for however long they stayed there. Colorful pillows and blankets, large tv, far too many mugs, comfy furniture, a room set aside that would eventually be almost wallpapered in monitors. Alec called it their nesting phase, whenever they arrived in a new safehouse. Both of them going out of their way to make sure that Q would be comfortable in their absence, despite knowing he would spend most of his time in his war room. 

Still, as he and Alec trudged their way up the stairs and down the hall to the door, it didn’t feel like a home. Nothing up to this point did. The only time he felt safe was with the three of them all wrapped around each other in whatever bed they had fallen in. Even so, James had to admit he liked how quiet the place was. Their flat in New York had practically been a nightmare for all of them. 

Alec got to the door first, typing in the code quickly that would open up the retinal scanner, and only then unlocking what sounded like at least five different bolts. That was three less bolts than their last place. Q must like the area as well then. 

“Kitten?” Alec called out, dumping his bag and kicking off his shoes by the door. 

Both of them watched as a fluffy head popped up from the other side of the couch, smiling at the tousled hair and bright smile that greeted them. James shook his head, marveling how Q still slept on the couch while they were away after all this time. He had once confessed that it felt too empty without them, and ever since then, he and Alec had made sure that they always picked out the most comfortable couch they could find for each new place. 

“You’re back,” Q announced sleepily, but no less happily as he knelt on the couch, leaning dangerously far over the back in order to grab hold of whoever made it over to him first. Usually it was Alec who got there first, picking up Q in a large bear hug and pulling up straight up off of the couch, and this time was no different beyond almost knocking over the lamp as he swung their smaller lover around. 

Q grouched a bit at the treatment as soon as he was put down, but the smile still on his face told another story. Fondly, James stepped forward to pull the slight body close against his own, placing a kiss on the top of Q’s head as he held him tight for a few moments. 

“You’ve been alright since we left, love?” he asked softly into the curls, letting his muscles relax back into off mission mode.

He felt Q nod against his chest, “Fine. I…I’ve been fine,” he said, almost looking like he wanted to say more, but chose to hold it back. James pulled back just far around to get a good look at his face, noting that he did look fine. Good even. There was a bit of color in his cheeks and his eyes were brighter than he could remember seeing. James prided himself on being able to read every emotion in Q, and he saw nothing amiss in his open expression, so he let the stutter go. Q was happy, and that made James happy. 

“Do we have food still, or do I need to make a quick run to the shops?” Alec called from in the kitchen, always hungry after a mission.

“Oh, um, there should be things to choose from in there,” Q answered back quickly. 

“Excellent,” Alec called back, the sounds of his foraging in the cupboards filling up the previously silent flat, “Oi, when did we get cream cookies? I don’t remember buying these…” the sound of crunching cookies soon joined the noise. 

James chuckled, finally releasing a squirming Q who padded his way into the kitchen quickly, probably to attempt saving the remains of his sweets from Alec’s unsuitable post-mission appetite. It wasn’t home, but it felt good to be there, nonetheless. 

Hands full of snacks, Alec had eventually walked back into the small corner of the room that held the small table that passed for a dining space for the three of them. He began to feast while carefully watching is two lovers go through the normal routines for after action moments. 

Q would perch somewhere in the living room area, either kneeling on the couch or at the table with Alec if he was hungry, as he watched James move about, shooting them with question after question like a well trained sniper who majored in journalism. Carefully, he would watch the two of them, looking for any signs of injuries needing tending, eyes wide and head swiveling about like an owl. 

There were no injuries of note this time around, so Q instead was laser focused on getting all the mission details, despite having watched all the real action over CCTV. James was good at humoring him though, and would calmly recite any details Q asked for while he puttered about putting away all their bags and doing a onceover of the flat for any security breaches. 

Eventually, Alec would chime in with the more fun bits. Like describing the city that they had been in, and funny people they saw on the plane ride. Q had been loving those bits more and more lately, and Alec could never say no to that face. Saying no was James’ job most of the time anyway. Alec’s job, which he took very seriously, was to make Q laugh, or at least that’s the job Alec had given himself anyway. He took pride in pulling those giggles out of the normally reserved boffin. 

And Q…he kept them grounded in humanity, if he was being honest. Having someone to protect, to care for besides each other, they needed it. Q was too smart not to have figured it out, but never said as much out loud. Outwardly though, the three of them looked out for each other. Q was their guardian angel watching their backs from above, and the two of them his soldiers, ready and willing to fight any threat that came their way.

“It must have been lovely out there. I hear the foliage is gorgeous in Germany this time of year,” Q said wistfully.

Alec laughed, “It was, but where would you hear such things?” he asked as he moved on from the cookies and took up a bag of crisps. 

Q blushed, ducking his head down until his chin almost touched his chest, “Um, well, online articles and such. Maybe I looked at the Wikipedia page for the city you were in,” he said absently, picking at a loose thread on the couch. 

“Don’t tease him, Alec,” James growled, pulling one last thing from their bag before stuffing it back into the closet. He turned back to the couch, holding it out to Q who reached out eagerly, smiling coming back in full force, “You should like these,” James said wryly, letting him snatch the box out of his hands.

“You didn’t,” Q gasped, laughing as he pulled out several bags of gummy creatures.

Alec quickly launched from his chair, all but tackling Q back against the cushions as he tried to grab at the little bags of treats, “Oh but we did, kitten! I made sure we stopped by the gummy bear factory on the way back, even if it was beneath James. It’s a landmark of the city after all, couldn’t come back to our favorite little boffin without proper offerings,” he said, nipping at Q’s lips as he snuck a red bear into his mouth. 

Q laughed, delightedly, holding his treats out above his head in the vain hope of protecting them from Alec’s appetite. They could both feel James’ fond gaze on them as they both tumbled around the couch, gummy bears still being held hostage in Q’s hands. 

Finally, Alec was able to wrap himself completely around Q, holding the squirming body tightly in his lap as they both struggled to catch their breath, cheeks burning from the strain of smiling too long. Alec still hadn’t stolen the bears yet, but he held a much grander prize in his arms nonetheless, and it only felt better as James made his way to the couch to join them. The three of them together again. As it always should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG they have FEELINGS


	3. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past: The three boys meet
> 
> Present: An odd breakfast before a job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again! I'm so happy with how well this story is being received. I'm super happy to report that this story is about 1/3 written already, sparing edits and such. Progress!!!!!
> 
> There probably won't be another post until next year for this story, so please enjoy this one and have a happy holiday! <3

Two weeks had passed since they had taken up their sentinel duties over their oblivious charge. At first, it had been relatively easy to fend off threats. He and James would take turns in the morning, pacing the hallway that the Quinn boy needed to take to get to the nurses, scaring off any of the hoard of boys that usually took that opportunity to pounce on him. 

They would lean against a wall casually while Quinn would scamper past, wary eyes watching them as the hurried by. Obviously, he was thinking that the older boys were just getting their turn in on the new kid, but after the first week, he eventually relaxed a bit when he realized that he wasn’t about to be assaulted by either of them.

Of course, he didn’t just accept them right there as allies. He still flinched violently if one of them so much as blinked too fast as he walked by. But it was still progress in a way, at least in Alec’s book it was. 

Mealtime pursuits had become the alternative method after their little hallway hijinks had been waylaid, but those were rendered near ineffective by the governing staff who had no tolerance for violence in front of their faces. Verbal attacks they didn’t interfere with however, and those were the chosen modes of attack next.

Their little cricket though was still playing the silent card, not even flinching or tearing up at the words thrown at him like knives. Alec would have been impressed if he didn’t recognize the real reason behind Quinn’s lack of response for what it really was. It wasn’t him ignoring them, that never worked anyway. He knew what it was. He’d lived it himself. Words hurt a damned lot less after enduring such attacks for your whole life. Like a mental callous. Quinn kept it together because he had heard worse from people who had meant more. 

Along with his sympathy, Quinn gained a lot more of Alec’s respect that week. 

Despite trying to keep himself detached, Alec could tell that James was beginning to become more invested after their shared vigils awoke some kind of humanity in James that had probably gone dormant the moment he was told his parents had died. Alec knew that James cared for him deeply too, a bond forged in shared misery and understanding, but now they had a shared burden as well and it was bringing them closer than Alec thought was possible for two teenagers who were all but dead inside. 

Purpose, James had called it once. Alec liked that.

Before they had their little cricket, they had no purpose. No hope. No dreams. They only had each other. It was barely living, but having the other at their side was what made it worth sticking around. Having a purpose now made their sticking around important too. 

Two weeks passed without major incidents, the bruises that had littered Quinn’s skin had almost faded past the lingering yellow stages, with no new ones to take their place. If Alec were a more emotive person, he would have puffed his chest out with pride. As it was, he and James perhaps wore matching menacing smirks instead when they walked through the halls. 

Of course, Beans and his crew were pathological in their need to assert dominance it seemed, and they eventually found their opening in the yard the day that Alec and James were held up by their dish duty taking a bit longer thanks to the near rancid oatmeal that morning that clung like paste to the pots. 

The scene that greeted them as they stepped outside would still cause Alec’s blood to boil years later. 

All eight of Bean’s crew were circled around a crumpled form on the dusty ground, for all appearances looking like they were just playing a very loud game of kick the can. Only Alec would know that small form anywhere after having watched his every move for the past few weeks. 

Quinn was curled into a tight ball as he was assaulted from all sides, soft cries on just being heard over the laughter of the boys twice his size, standing around him. Dust was kicking up all around, coating him in dirt and patterned footprints. 

There was something off about the cries though, like he was choking on them. 

Alec saw red. Beside him, he could feel James begin to vibrate with fury. 

It took them less than a minute to dispatch the crowd, making sure each and every one of the boys sported an injury that would require normally a night in the infirmary at the least, but it was unlikely that they would go there and admit what they had been doing to deserve such treatment. Fists bruised, and knuckles bloodied, Alec and James watched as Beans and his crew stumble, limp, or be dragged off, leaving them alone with the fallen form of Quinn still gasping in the dirt. 

They turned back to the small body, unsure what to do next. They had agreed to protect him at a distance but had never talked about directly being in contact with Quinn. They weren’t good at the comforting thing, having never done it before. 

At first, they waited for Quinn to catch his breath, so they could ask him if he was alright, but after a minute had passed, it was sounding like his breathing was getting worse.

Frowning deeply, James crouched down next to the fallen boy, reaching out to grab at a bony shoulder, that was weakly fought against.

“Hey, what’s wrong? They didn’t collapse a lung or something, did they?” he asked warily.

Quinn turned his face up to them, his cheeks a splotchy red and his lips turning blue around the edges, “Can’t…breathe,” he wheezed out, eye wide and desperate, “Asthma.”

“Shit,” Alec cursed, hearing the growing strain in Quinn’s voice, “Where’s your medicine? You take medicine for it, yeah? Shouldn’t you have an inhaler on you somewhere?”

“In…firmary.”

“Oh, for the love of fuck,” James bit out, scooping up the tiny shaking body in his arms, “They don’t let any of us keep any drugs in case we try to sell it or something,” he reminded Alec with a growl as he turned to run towards the doors.

“Fucking bastards wouldn’t even let him carry his own inhaler?”

“I know, I know,” James bit back angrily, cursing this damned place once again.

“The nurse will be at lunch,” Alec said as he pulled open the doors for them, James not pausing as he dashed inside, clutching the small wheezing form against his chest. Quinn let out a pained gasp at hearing that, his panic growing at not being able to pull in a full breath.

“Calm down, kitten, we’re not going to let something as small as a locked door stop us,” Alec soothed, reaching out to grab at one small clammy hand as they continued to run down the empty halls. Alec couldn’t remember the last time he had ever tried to comfort someone, or even if he ever had before. It felt foreign to him, but not uncomfortably so. Especially when he felt those small fingers close around his own. 

True to their word, the locked door did nothing but slow them down for a few seconds as Alec masterfully picked it while James continued to carry their shared burden, shushing him softly as he continued to fight for air, his gasps almost painful to hear to the both of them. It sounded like he was trying to breathe through a straw. Alec took in the new sight of his normally stoic and sometimes frigid friend carefully cradling Quinn, his face painted with worry and genuine concern. It was a good look on him if Alec were being honest. 

“Let’s go,” Alec urged, swinging the door open for James to hurry through.

Quinn was gently laid down on the exam table while Alec tore over to the medicine cabinet, cursing loudly when he found it locked as well. Another loud and frantic gasp echoing in the room was all it took to make Alec forgo another round of lock picking and instead smash a stapler against the cloudy glass, shattering it completely.

He hardly paid the glass any mind as he tore through looking for anything that looked like an inhaler. 

“Alec!” James called out, his voice just on the edges of panic.

“I’m looking!” Alec shouted back, just as his fingers closed around a blue tube. He barely registered Quinns’ first name on the labeled prescription before tossing it over his shoulder to where James snatched it easily out of the air.

Both older boys huddled close around Quinn, Alec helping him sit up while James guided the inhaler up to blueish lips. Quinn seemed horribly dizzy, taking a few precious seconds to wrap his lips around the familiar tube and pitifully try to draw in air as James pressed down the button. 

“Breathe. Breathe for us,” James pleaded.

“That’s it, that’s it, kitten. Breathe in, nice and deep.”

It felt like it took hours and a few more puffs before color started to come back to Quinn’s face and his tiny chest started to rise and fall normally. 

Alec blew out a breath that he didn’t even realize he’d been holding back, almost like he wasn’t allowed to breath until Quinn could. Beside him, he felt James nearly crumple in relief. 

“Shit, kid. You nearly scared us half to death,” James growled out, his gruff voice a complete contrast to the gentle hand he was using to rub circles into Quinn’s knobby back. Alec’s own hand had found Quinn’s smaller one at some point again while administering the medicine, and he couldn’t bring himself to remove it just yet. 

Wide eyes had gone from terrified to confused in increments as breathing had gotten easier, and the panic had faded, and he stared at the two of them like aliens that had descended to earth and abducted him only to give him a cookie.

“You…you don’t--you aren’t…why would you help me?” he managed to ask after a while, his eyes darting back and forth between them as if the answer lay in the very air. 

_ Good question. We’ve been asking the same thing ourselves, _ Alec thought to himself with amusement, winking at James who he knew was thinking along the same lines. 

James rolled his eyes almost fondly at Alec before placing his attention back on their little companion, “You looked like you needed help,” he said simply. 

Quinn frowned, but eventually nodded in his acceptance of that. He still looked powerfully suspicious of the two of them, but wisely didn’t state his concerns. He merely began to scan the room around them, as if only just now being able to take in what had been done while he was nearly unconscious.

“You broke into the infirmary!” he shrieked in alarm, “You need to leave now, before they find you!” he said almost frantic.

Alec chuckled, “And what about you?”

“I’ll tell them I did it during medical duress,” he answered primly. Alec noted the posh voice and wondered if it was faked. If it was fake, it was well done. Posh was a good way to get real people outside of this place to like you, maybe even treat you like a person. 

Alec glanced around at the unlocked door and the smashed cabinet window that stood a good few heads above Quinn’s stunted height. He raised an incredulous brow.

Quinn shrugged his shoulders, wincing as he jostled one of his newest injuries, “As if any of the adults here would take even a moment to consider the obvious discrepancies in the destruction versus my stature,” he remarked dryly, “Go now. Consider it my thanks for saving me. I’ll take the blame for this one.”

“Big words coming from such a small mouth,” James said with a smirk over at Alec.

“Or how about the three of us leave now and hope to not get caught?” Alec countered.

The younger boy seemed to stiffen in surprise, leaning as far to the side as his bruised ribs would allow to peer outside the door to see if anyone was coming. James spared a disinterested glance too, nodding to Alec when he confirmed the coast was clear. 

“Shall we?” James asked in amusement.

Quinn squinted up at them, “I’m not quite up for walking just yet,” he said regretfully.

Alec huffed out a laugh, as James shook his head with an air of growing fondness.

“Not a problem. I’ve carried around sacks of flour that weigh more than you, up you get,” he said shortly as he held out his arms, waiting for Quinn as he cautiously scooted forward. As far as Alec was concerned, it looked more like James was trying to coax a feral kitten forward, and surprisingly enough Quinn eventually crawled into the waiting arms that looked like they could have broken him in half.

Alec knew that James was sunk the moment that the small figure burrowed deeper against his chest, the look of awe that fell over his stern features was a sight to behold. Nobody trusted anyone around here, especially those who were lowest on the food chain as it were. For someone to willingly put their trust in people like him and James, it was either catastrophically stupid, or simply immensely human. And from what they had seen so far, Quinn was not stupid by a long shot. Humanity though, that was usually left at the door when boys came in here. Animals is more like what they felt like. Strays rounded up in a pound, just waiting to bite or be bitten. 

James and Alec’s eyes met for a brief moment, the small act profound to the both of them even if Quinn didn’t realize it. 

“Oh, we should probably put this back. Don’t want them to see my inhaler as the only thing missing,” Quinn said, sadly handing over his lifeline to Alec who in turn reluctantly tossed it back in the mess of broken glass. The kid was right, even if it felt a thousand different kinds of wrong to part with the item that had just saved the kids life. 

* * *

They ducked out of the infirmary and down the hall just as a raised voice made its way across the building. No doubt the nurse must have come back from her extended lunch only to see her office a mess. It would be no more than an hour before all the boys were rounded up for questioning. That was plenty of time for them to sneak their little charge away to come up with their alibi. 

“Just say that you wanted a turn in beating me up, it’s hardly like they’ll be able to tell apart bruising between the lot of you,” Quinn pointed out with a hiss as James’ fingers ran over a particularly tender rib.

“Despite what we look like, we’re not really known for beating up the little ones,” James remarked dryly, finally pulling back and allowing Quinn to pull down his shirt over the purpling marks. He nodded over his shoulder to Alec, signaling that there was nothing overly concerning in his newest injuries. 

The corners of Alec’s eyes softened the barest bit, but the tense line of his shoulders released a bit more. 

Their little companion rolled his eyes theatrically as he tugged on the overlarge sleeves of his jumper, “Then just say I insulted your face or something. Whatever people tend to get most upset about around here,” he said with an absent wave of his hand. He sounded so bored and done with the whole situation, like they were deciding on dinner rather than how to get out of a bollocksing by the supervisors. James watched as an incredulous grin started to grow over Alec’s face, lighting him up in a way that he rarely got to see. It almost made James smile too. Almost. 

“And you aren’t concerned that you’ll get a reputation as not only an adorable punching bag, but also as a rabble rouser?” Alec asked, his voice rich with amusement. James sighed as he peeked out the windows and doors of the bathroom they had taken over as they waited for the summoning announcement that was sure to come soon enough. So far no one had come for them, and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Bean’s crew. For once they were lucky it seemed.

Quinn just shrugged his uninjured shoulder, eyes falling to the floor, “It’s fine. Not like I’ll be here long anyway,” he muttered darkly as he started to swivel his head around where he was perched high on one of the sinks, probably trying to figure out the least painful way to jump down with his half twisted up ankle. 

It could have just been a casually hopeful statement that Quinn just uttered, but something in James’ gut was telling him that it wasn’t just some false hope held by some boy thinking he’d be saved from this place. He sounded far too bitter, and even scared for that to be it. He wouldn’t have been the first boy who held dreams of some long-lost relative coming to pull them away from this life, or even more hopeful, that someone would want to adopt an older child. But Quinn held a sadness in his young eyes that told of a story far deeper. The same depth that was held in James’ and Alec’s eyes too. Dark shadows that should never belong in the gaze of children like them. 

Slowly James moved back over to Quinn, reaching out to lift up his chin so that their eyes could meet, “What do you mean by that?” he asked softly, but with enough power behind it that Quinn would not dare look away.

The boy stared back at him steadily, an anger growing from deep within that James watched spark to life like embers that had just been waiting to burst into a blaze.

“They’re coming for me,” he bit out finally, shocking both Alec and James.

Alec stepped forward, leaning down closer to Quinn’s distraught face, “Who’s coming, Quinn? Your parents?”

“You are to forget that name! Quinn died along with his parents. I’m Q now,” he shouted, ignoring James’ and Alec’s frantic shushing, hoping that the little outburst didn’t draw attention to where they were hiding. 

James lifted his hands in surrender, “Okay, okay. Q, then. So your parents aren’t coming for you, then who is? Don’t you want to get out of here?”

Q sniffled a bit but kept his spine ramrod straight as he stared down the two of them with a ferocity that was quite stunning from someone so little, “ _ They _ are coming. Bad guys of some sort, a mix of them really. Anyone that my parents had rented me out to for dirty work, they’ll all be looking for me now. Crime families, dealers, probably terrorists. I don’t want to go with them! I don’t want to be here, but I don’t want to be with them either!”

“Terrorists? What are you going on about, you’re like seven or something. Do you even know what a terrorist is?” Alec asked, the pitch of his voice rising as he went on.

“I’m eleven! And I’m as dangerous with computers are you are with your fists. My parents were never good people, and they only became worse when they realized that I could be rented out to their crime contacts for hacking services and such. The idiots didn’t think it was a big deal to have me work for multiple criminals, until they all realized that the same kid was being used by their allies and enemies. Offers to buy me started to come in. I overheard the phone conversations. They wanted to hold out for as much money as possible. It was only a matter of time before their greed got the better of them,” he said in a rush, gasping for air as he finished, his small hand going instinctively to his pocket for the inhaler that wasn’t there. 

James hushed him, as he patted down the frail line of his back as he tried to get his breath back. He glanced up at Alec who looked about as confused, horrified and troubled as James felt. It didn’t sound real, what they were being told. The only thing that sounded even vaguely plausible was that Q just happened to be a very small eleven-year-old, and even that James was still on the fence about believing that. 

“What happened then,” James asked after Q collected himself.

Q’s shoulders slumped, “And then a group of armed men came to our flat and shot them dead. I hid in the vents, and nobody found me until the police showed up.”

“And the police just sent you here? Shouldn’t you be in witness protection or something?” Alec asked, running a hand through his hair.

“They didn’t believe me. They wouldn’t even let me near a computer to show them any evidence. They just said I must be in shock and sent me here. My name was redacted at the station and for my transfer, but it won’t take a genius to track me down eventually. All they have to do is look for where my inhaler prescription will be filled next. Won’t take them long after that. Probably have a month or two considering they only let me use it once a day here,” Q finished, his words bitter.

It sure sounded like a load of lies if the words had poured from any other mouth besides the small boy sitting in front of him. There was something though that was giving him and Alec pause, both of them letting their instincts tell them that there was no lie in what was just said. James moved his hand from Q’s back and up to where it rested on top of his dark curls.

“You think they’re going to try and come for you again,” he said, waiting a moment for when he felt Q’s head bob under his hand. Frustrated, James let out a sigh that was more like the bastard son of a growl, turning on his heel to start pacing around the small bathroom. 

Alec took up James vacated spot, placing a gentle hand on Q’s knee, the boy not even flinching away from the touch like anyone else would. There was so much trust being placed in the two of them by a boy who shouldn’t have an ounce of trust left in him after such a life. It was more of a burden than what Alec and James had initially decided to take on, but James knew that neither of them were about to drop it now. Q was theirs to protect. No matter the danger he was in, they had made the promise to themselves. 

“Does Frond know?” James asked after a while.

Q nodded, his face turning angry, “He said that little boys shouldn’t lie to get attention.”

“Fucker,” Alec bit out. 

“And a moron to boot. He’ll be the first one they try to kill when they come for me,” Q said with finality. 

That was if James didn’t get to him first. 

He paused his pacing, turning to face Alec.

“We’re doing this?” he asked.

Alec didn’t even hesitate before nodding, “I was never one to back down from a fight,” he said with a feral grin.

Q’s head popped up as he darted his head between the two with a confused expression on his little face, “What are you two talking about?”

Alec puffed out his chest proudly as he slapped Q on the knee, “You’ve just got yourself two new personal bodyguards!”

* * *

PRESENT 

Alec stopped up short upon entering the kitchen that morning, pausing a mere breath to take in the sight before him with a long-practiced eye.

Small bits, nobs and bobbles were strewn across the table, taking up residence between the plates full of eggs and glasses filled with orange juice. A screwdriver taking up residence next to a knife and fork beside a plate like it was trying to pass itself off as a pointy spoon. The eggs looked more out of place at the table than the bits as he watched Q tear into yet another toaster that deserved better.

Alec caught James subtle shrug of shared confusion as his older lover sat at the somewhat cleaner side of the table. This wasn’t the first toaster to have met its end at the hands of Q. There had been many more victims that had come before, of varying appliances, only to be butchered for parts or frankensteined into some monstrosity with far too many buttons for either him or James could even hope to comprehend, old farts that they were. 

The thing was, after so many years, they had learned that this particular brand of tinkering usually stemmed from immense boredom, or when he was near on the edge with anxiety. Going off of James shared confusion, he was unsure which it was this time. 

Q didn’t look particularly upset, but he rarely did these days. At the beginning of their living together, it had been a different story, but in the last year or so it had become rare to see Q look anything other than calm and collected. He couldn’t be bored though, not with another job coming up in the next day. He’d be working himself to the bone up until the moment they broke into that building. He took his work for them too seriously to be bored.

Alec moved smoothly into the kitchen, sighing in relief when he noted that the coffee machine was still intact and burbling away merrily. He would need at least a few sips before addressing whatever was going on. Unless James beat him to it. He was always better at getting Q to talk about things. If it was boredom though, Alec was excellent at relieving that. He smirked to himself as he thought of several ways that he could do that, most of them even including a real bed this time.

Flipping his chair around backwards, he straddled the last seat at the table, carefully extracting a plate of eggs from the center and avoiding moving the pile of wires in his way.

James turned the page of his newspaper, glancing over the top of it as he glared at Q’s untouched plate of eggs. With a sigh, he folded up the print, “Q, those eggs aren’t going to eat themselves,” he pointed out gruffly.

“Poor design on their part then,” came the quick reply as Q reached for his screwdriver. 

Alec snickered as James rolled his eyes.

“If you didn’t want eggs then maybe you shouldn’t have murdered the toaster then. Again, I might add. What did it even say to you to make you want to gut it like a cow?” Alec asked, mouth full.

“Fix me,” Q said shortly, hands grabbing for a hammer and proceeding to pummel away at some poor unsuspecting nob. 

A loud banging noise filled up their tiny apartment, the windowless walls making the echoing sound all the more grating. The plates and cups on the table bounced dangerously with the vibrations, which didn’t bother Alec all that much. He couldn’t believe he’d accidentally gotten the orange juice that still had the bits in it. Drinks should never have a texture. It was a crime against beverages that weren’t fruit smoothies or milkshakes with candies in them. 

Still, Alec was starting think that this time it was definitely not boredom that had gotten to their young lover. He raised an expectant eyebrow at James as the table continued to jump between them. 

James heaved a heavy sigh, but his face didn’t have any true annoyance in it. They could never be annoyed at Q’s little quirks, not when they knew where they had come from in the first place. As gently as cupping his hand around a butterfly, James rested his hand on Q’s knee. They’d both gotten good at avoiding startling him, and it showed when Q paused, blinking owlishly before dropping his gaze to James’ hand on him. The hammer seemingly forgotten for the moment; Alec took that as his sign to carefully remove it from thin fingers.

“Everything alright, darling?” James asked gently, his blue eyes deep and calming. Even Alec was drawn in by it and he wasn’t even currently on the receiving end. 

Q’s shoulders dropped a bit, his neutral expression falling a bit, “I’m alright. It’s a good day,” he said, using the simple phrase that they’d adopted over the years for when Q was not stuck in his darker moments. He said it truthfully enough that Alec felt his heart warm, not recalling the last time Q admitted to a ‘bad day’. 

James smiled, squeezing his hand gently, “We’re happy to hear that, but I think the appliances and us would still like to know why the toaster had to die so young,” he said teasingly. 

Q’s blush reached down to his collarbone that peaked out from the sweater that he had no doubt stolen from Alec’s side of the closet, “Oh, yes, sorry. I’ll just order a new one, shall I? I ran out of wiring this morning while optimizing your earbuds and must have gotten a bit carried away.”

James cocked a disbelieving brow.

“Ugh, fine. I’m just…you’re both leaving again,” Q said in a huff, slouching back in his chair. 

Alec frowned, placing aside the hammer next to his forgotten coffee, “Did we forget a birthday or something?”

“No.”

“Is there a holiday coming up? What month is it anyway?” James asked, already pulling the paper back towards him to look for a date. 

Q rolled his eyes, a small smile gracing his lips as he watched his older lovers flounder for things as simple as dates. He giggled sweetly, finally leaning forward again and placing his hands on the table out towards Alec and James. 

“No holiday. I’m just going to miss you too, is all,” he said in a teasing manner, but the two of them knew that there was a sharp truth underneath it. Without thinking, the two of them placed their own hands on top of Q’s smaller ones. 

“And we always miss you while we’re gone,” James replied, pulling up Q’s hand to kiss his knuckles. 

“We really do, kitten. James here only lets me eat healthy things while we’re away, he doesn’t even let me order dessert half the time.”

“That’s because I can’t have you slowed down because you couldn’t control yourself at the buffet,” James chided without heat, making Q’s smile broaden, even if it was still touched a bit by sadness on the edges. 

“Well sorry if I don’t consider it a meal when they bring it to me on a single spoon, or worse, stacked up in some unbalanced slop with foam dripping off the sides. What even is that?” Alec tossed back, getting up to begin rummaging around in the cupboards where he was reasonably sure he spotted fruit pastries stashed away, “I’ve got to stuff my face now or I’ll starve while we’re away.”

James huffed, stabbing roughly at his sensible plate of eggs, “Just make sure you leave enough food for Q to have over the next week at least,” he said crossly before turning his attention back to Q who was grinning fondly at the two of them, “Do you have enough of your special tea to last you?”

“Of course. You bought me enough to last us through the winter, and it’s still July,” he said, standing up to start collecting the loose bits of toaster to toss. 

James nodded, pleased, “Good. I was worried during our last mission that I’d forgotten to bulk up on that. How about your inhaler? Do we need to pick up a refill before we leave tonight?”

Q shook his head, still focused on his task of cleaning off the table, “Still fine.”

“You’re sure? Did you take a puff yet this morning and feel the level?” James asked, swiveling his head around to see if he could spot the familiar blue tube somewhere, no doubt to check himself. 

A deep sigh fell from Q’s lips before he leaned down to leave a quick peck on James cheek, “I’ll be fine. I promise. Now I’ve got to get back to work. Only got a few hours to fix those earbuds before your flight,” he said with a real smile, darting off into this office with a small nest of copper clenched in his fist.

The door was shut before either of them could even stop to remind him that he still hadn’t eaten any of his eggs. 

Alec chuckled as he shook his head, “And he wonders why we worry about him while we’re away.”

* * *

“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight, Q. Everything alright over there?” James asked quietly as he and Alec made their approach to the mansion’s side entrance, noting the two guards that were posted there just as Q had told them. James tugged at the neck of his black sweater, cursing the humidity of the night and the need to wear such heavy covering in the first place. 

_ “I’m fine, just…distracted I suppose. Saw some things while prowling through their database that have me a bit concerned,”  _ Q said, his voice distant like he sounded when he was balls deep in some new coding project. 

Alec caught his eye and raised a questioning brow, both of them wondering what could have drawn his attention on a simple job like this. They were only here to steal some fancy ancient vase that had monetary value obviously far higher than what they were being paid. Q had said the vase had already been stolen by its current owners from a museum, so it was hardly like the police would be called to report it. Simple in and out job, Q only needed to keep an eye on the cameras and guards for them to make a clean getaway.

“Something we need to know about, kitten?” Alec asked as both of them pulled up short on their approach. 

_ “We don’t usually care about what our customers get up to, do we? Let criminals be criminals—” _

“And let us get paid,” James finished their little motto for him with a small grin. 

_ “Yes. Yes, that’s what we do,”  _ Q said softly, still sounding a bit distracted, but they didn’t hear distress so they let it go and continued to prowl forward like cats in the dark. 

It was easy to get them both to the room that held the vase thanks to Q’s guidance as well as his taking down every security measure that stood between them and their target. Before Q had joined their little team, a job like this would almost always go tits up because of some alarm or another getting tripped. Most of his and Alec’s scars had come from those dark, early days of their own mercenary and part time thieving days. Now jobs like this they were lucky if they even got to use the shiny guns that Q had designed for them. 

Still, there was something to be said for being able to come home to Q intact. After all, he was far more willing to be playfully rough in their bed when he knew there were no wounds to look out for. 

_ “It’ll be the blue one on the left. Ming Dynasty or some sort of historical rubbish. Human fascination with old things will never cease to amaze and confuse me.” _

Alec chuckled, “And yet you still love James?”

James glared at him from across the room, “I’m four months older than you. Fuck off.”

The vase was easy enough to spot. Q was right in that it was very old. Oldest thing in the room for sure going off of the painfully modern art that hung on the walls and the mac computer on the equally modern and ridiculous desk in the middle of the room. 

Alec went for the vase, pulling the padded travel case Q had made from his back and packing away their prize while James wandered around the room, flashing his dimmed torch at the walls and desk to fight off the boredom. 

_ “James,”  _ came Q’s tentative voice over his comm.

“Yes?”

_ “I…can you do me a favor?” _

James hummed thoughtfully, “Depends on the favor. If you want some of that pineapple candy, Alec already got you a bag.”

_ “Oh, thank you. That would be nice actually, but I had a different request. I need you to grab the hard drive from the computer on the desk there.” _

Alec glanced up with a frown, hearing the odd request over the comms.

“Taking a drive wasn’t part of the job was it?” James asked, although he already knew it wasn’t.

_ “I know, I know. But, I just—there’s some interesting coding on there that I want to look at more, but I don’t have time to extract it, especially since I didn’t send you with one of my flash drives to pull it for us.” _

Alec slowly shouldered the closed case, walking over to James, “Our client may not be pleased if he finds out that we took more than what he sent us for, kitten.”

_ “I’m aware. Maybe if you trash the room and smash up the computer, they’ll just think it a messy robbery and not notice it’s missing.” _

James and Alec glanced at each other with matching expressions of mischief. It wasn’t often that Q let a job get messy, usually preferring to leave as small a footprint as possible. It was indeed and odd request, but the chaos deities that seemed to rule their souls lit up gleefully at the thought of finally getting to do some damage to something besides a lock. Plus, it had the added benefit of letting them present Q with a gift he actually asked for. He never asked for personal things before. 

“Anything for you, poppet,” James said with a grin. 

They could have probably been a bit less noisy with the trashing of the room, eventually drawing a few guards their way, but they took care of it as efficiently as they could. They didn’t even need to use all the ammo that they had on them. And they had both of their prizes in hand, so it really went rather well.

At least that was how James was trying to explain as he and Alec ran across the ground in a dead sprint towards their getaway motorcycles. 

“At least we saved the grenade for the end!” Alec chimed in breathlessly as the jumped onto their vehicles and starting them up. They had enough distance between them and the approaching security guards that they both were driving off into the dark before anyone could even see the color of their bikes. 

_ “The grenade was completely unnecessary, and you know it,”  _ Q scolded, sounding increasingly anxious and worried as the sounds of gunshots and shouting had started up. He could picture Q running his shaking hands through increasingly unruly curls, lips bitten red in his panic. 

James grimaced a bit, wondering of the noise of the grenade carried over the comms. Guiltily he realized he should have given Q a heads up on that. After all, Q knew all too well what explosions sounded like thanks to being in a relationship with someone like Alec but didn’t always know if he was listening to the sound of both of his lovers getting blown away. 

“Breathe, love. Breathe. We’re both fine,” he said, wishing he didn’t have to yell it over the sound of the engines. Q needed soft words and voices to talk him down. 

Alec and he could both hear him forcing his breathing back down to a reasonable level, still managing to sound pissed off as he did.

“That’s it, kitten. You’re doing great, and so are we. Not even a scratch on us or the bloody vase,” Alec said, trying to keep his voice light. 

“Do you have your inhaler near you?” James asked, worried they’d pushed Q too far.

_ “I don’t need it.” _

“Q…”

_ “I’m fine, I swear, ju—just come back, alright? After the drop off, of course.” _

James nodded even though Q probably couldn’t see it unless he had bothered to hack into the street cameras too.

“Of course. We’ll be back within the week, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think!


	4. Protectors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 
> 
> PHEW! This was a Loooooooong one, holy heck. Thanks to everyone who commented and left kudos! They are my life blood at this point, lol. This story is moving along smoothly, so I see regular posting to continue right up until the end! Yay!
> 
> Warnings: This is where things get a little dark. Read the notes at the bottom of this chapter if you want to read the warnings/spoilers to help with any anxiety going in. Otherwise, some violence and sexy times coming up!

Two months passed since they pulled Q up from the dust, and while time usually passed slowly for the boys at St. Francis’, for James and Alec it almost seemed to go by pleasingly fast as the hints of Spring started to erupt around them. 

For the two of them, the only good thing in their lives had been each other. One constant companion, one person they could truly trust. One person they would die for if it came down to it. Something had clicked between them when James had first arrived, begrudgingly slamming his tray down across from Alec’s, growling out that if he wanted a fight he’d damn well get one. Alec’s smirk had been the first thing that made James smile since his parents had died merely a week before. After that they had been inseparable, but sometimes it felt like they were missing something. 

Alec knew he was shit with words and trust was about as easy to come by as dragons when it came to him. Meanwhile, James knew that he had abandonment issues that went beyond what any half wit psychiatrist would call healthy. Not to mention they both had tempers that would put a two-year-old to shame. Their relationship was as sturdy as stone, but it felt as heavy as one too at times.

Somehow, with little Q becoming a part of their lives, and them taking on the role of protectors, a levity had entered in as well. James couldn’t figure it out for the life of him why it happened that way, but there was no denying that both he and Alec had smiled more in the last two months than they had since coming here. 

At first, Q had remained somewhat skittish, not seeking out his protectors for the first few days but letting them hover whenever they felt it necessary. They had let him keep his distance at first, only stepping in when the other boys started in on him again, and it worked a bit. But it did a number on their nerves after just a few days. Their lunches were spent staring across the room at their little ward, waiting for the next attempt and wondering if they would make it there fast enough if something happened. Outdoor time spent much in the same way, them up on their wall while Q hugged his knees against the building. 

Alec had been the first to crack, having the smaller store of patience than James. He had slammed his fork down with a huff and walking across the room to bodily pick up Q in one arm and is tray in the other before bringing both of them back to where James sat with an amused grin on his face. Q’s eyes were wide in surprise, but adjusted quickly enough when he eventually realized that this was Alec’s bastardized attempt at a dinner invitation. After that incident, Q obediently brought his tray over to them for each meal. And then started joining them at the wall where James would gently lift him up onto the ledge and into a waiting Alec’s arms. It became their little haven of a perch. Just for the three of them.

The usual silence that fell between the two older boys was quickly filled with chatter as their little companion would go on about all sort of topics. Astrology, engineering, maths, coding and such. Anything that tickled his fancy that particular day. It should have been annoying, but it was…nice. It was something to think on beyond their less than ideal lives. It didn’t take long to realize that the depth and level that Q spoke of these things was well beyond his years, making them both wonder if Q truly was the super computer genius that he claimed. 

There was only one time of day that was the hardest on all three of them. The house had three separate sleeping wings for the occupants. One for the adults, one for the older boys, and one for the younger boys. Generally, the younger boy’s room was safe, but if Q was correct about people coming for him, it meant that he was alone each and every night while James and Alec were on the other side of the building. When the bell rang for bed, Q’s eyes would always flash in fear before he would reluctantly, but always politely, say his goodnights and walk down the long hallway away from them. James began to startle awake at any small sound he heard in the distance, wondering if someone was finally making an attempt. Below his bunk, he knew that Alec would force himself to stay up an extra hour or two each night looking out their window for someone trying to come over the wall. 

At first, James thought them both silly for doing it. Causing themselves such fatigue over what may be nothing to fret over. While he couldn’t bring himself to not believe Q’s story, it was difficult to picture someone coming to steal that innocent little wisp of a thing for such nefarious reasons. He never said as much to Alec, the two of them more than willing to lose a few winks in the name of their newfound purpose. Whatever doubts James held, they did nothing to lessen his enjoyment of having Q by their sides. 

It only took two months though, before the doubt was ripped from his heart violently.

* * *

James’ eyes flew open in the middle of an already forgotten dream, jolting upright as his blankets pooled around his waist. Every one of his muscles were tensed up like wire cables, and he couldn’t immediately figure out why.

“James?” came Alec’s voice, quiet, but lacking any of the usual drag that it held right after waking up. He sounded alert, tense.

“Somethings…wrong,” James said, his gaze searching the dark around him for whatever was causing his adrenaline to run through him like electricity. 

“I think so too, but what—”

Alec cut off his words as the faint sound of glass breaking echoed quietly from somewhere else in the building. Dread filled his belly like lead, as James’ guess would put that noise at the back entrance to the house, close to the younger boys wing. He was tossing the sheets from his legs and hopping to the floor before he even had time to think about what he was doing. 

“Alec, we need to find Q now.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice, let’s fucking go,” Alec whispered back, already darting towards the door with his favorite contrabanded knife held firm in his fist. James grabbed a loose metal pipe down from the ancient and always broken heating vents and followed after. 

The hallways were dark, the only light they had to go by was the moon just barely shining through the yellow and dusty glass of the windows, but it was enough. This was their turf and knew it better than anyone. They were able to make it to the boys wing without incident or seeing anyone, but that only made James heart pound harder against his sternum as the tension grew with each passing second that he didn’t see Q, safe and unharmed. Q was theirs to protect after all.  _ Theirs.  _ They didn’t have anything else.

He glanced to his left where Alec matched his speed, sharp green eyes meeting burning blue as they nodded at each other. They were looking for professional criminals, not one-bit robbers. This would be more dangerous than any of the schoolyard scuffles they’d been through, possibly deadly. But James knew that between them, the only fear they felt was for Q and the other. They would happily go down protecting the only ones who mattered to them. 

“I don’t see any broken glass,” Alec breathed as they got closer. It wasn’t reassuring. The sound of glass breaking that they heard was only a few minutes ago, too much time already to find Q. The closer the glass breaking was to Q’s bed, the quicker they would have been able to snag him. 

It only took them mere seconds upon stepping into the boys wing for their hearts to plummet. All the boys were still sleeping soundly, but there was one empty bed with a pair of glasses on the sidetable, the sheets carelessly tossed to the floor next to a white hanky. A book lay crumpled on the floor, an old copy of Robin Hood that Q had been reading again and again for weeks.

James felt a low whine fall from his mouth as he darted forward, picking up the book and then grabbing the hanky and catching a brief whiff of something strong smelling. He tossed it back to the ground in anger, the frustration of Q being gone and most likely drugged building the rage in him like a bonfire. 

“Chloroform I bet,” he hissed at Alec who cursed in response. 

“Where did they go? I still haven’t seen the glass and these useless lumps have slept through a bloody kidnapping,” Alec all but growled back.

There was only one way to go from here though, down the opposite hall from where he and Alec came from. And they needed to move fast. Gently, he placed the book back on the bed and turned to Alec.

“Let’s go,” James whispered harshly, already leading out of the room and stalking dangerously down the hallway.

* * *

They could have easily called the police, or at the very least the 'dults that all slept in the next wing over, but James and Alec somehow knew that if it was indeed some criminal ring that had tracked Q down, the more attention they drew from  _ authorities _ , the more attention they would draw from the dregs of the underworld as well.

With that in mind, continued down the hall alone until they came across the large window that looked out into the yard, just in time to spot several shadowed figures hoisting a small bundle over the wall.

“There’s just woods out there for over a few kilometers. Getaway car on the other side you think?” Alec asked, already beginning to climb out the same exit.

James nodded, taking the offered hand up, “Avoid the security cameras that way. The main road here would have far too many witnesses. Human and technological.”

“Good for us then. We can catch up easy, seeing as we know a thing or two about sneaking through those woods after dark,” Alec said, a feral grin glinting dangerously in the night as they tore across the yard.

James’ answering smirk was telling enough.

* * *

The two boys were easily able to track the men, noting quickly four different shoe sizes in the mud as they crept along. Four men against two boys was hardly a fair fight if they were armed properly, but they had the darkness and surprise on their side at least.

They would get Q back or they would die trying. It wasn’t like their lives were particularly spectacular enough to feel too young to die. At least this way it would be for a reason. Not senseless like James’ parent’s death. Or deserved like Alec’s parents. 

It took about five cruelly long minutes before they could hear the rustling leaves and quiet murmurs ahead of them, James blowing out a harsh breath in relief at knowing that they hadn’t lost them yet. 

This was the easy part though, catching up. Now came retrieval. After that James honestly wasn’t sure what came next but flying by the seat of his pants seemed a good enough plan for the time being. It was hard to think beyond the adrenaline and mantra that was playing through both of their brains at the time.

_ Protect Q. Protect Q. Protect Q. _

James jerked his chin at Alec, signaling him to take the pincer to the right while James would go in from the left. Going in from behind would certainly be a surprise but having someone come at you from two sides rather than one would always be more disorienting. It wasn’t hard to spot the glint of black metal on their belts, even from where James hid among the trees. It was hardly a surprise they were armed with guns though.

Slowly, James stalked through the outer edges of the brush, his eyes taking in their targets and the small sack slung over the shoulder of the biggest one.

He made a mental note to do the most harm to that one, seeing how roughly he would adjust the bag that was no doubt holding Q’s crumpled body inside. They would all suffer greatly anyhow, seeing as they put Q into a bag in the first place. 

They was only one kilometer left of forest by James mental calculation. That meant that they needed to act fast if any gunshots were to have any hope of being ignored. 

This felt like a time that James should probably have been scared. They were about to attack several large and armed career criminals, but the only thing he felt was determination and a furious yet controlled fire deep in his gut.

They hadn’t decided on a signal, but Alec knew James and their turf like his own reflection. James whistled a low trill, similar to those of the solemn looking black birds that stopped on their roof during the autumn. It wasn’t autumn though. 

A count of three after the whistle, and then James shot out of the trees like a canon, slamming viciously into the first body he encountered. He may have only been sixteen years old, but he and was growing quickly and heard the air knocked right out of the beefy man. 

There was an echoing shout of alarm and pain off to James side as Alec joined the fray simultaneously. The darkness covered them like a cloak, almost making James feel like a specter as he delivered vicious blows and kicks in all directions, reveling in the chaotic confusion of the men who would dare try to steal Q away from them. 

Alec was snarling like a wild cat as two of the men tried to grab hold of him, but he easily slithered out of their grasp and dove at the ground, swiping at their ankles. They fell with loud thuds and squelches as they slipped easily in the mud under their boots. 

The big one holding Q over his back stood in the center of the fight, head swiveling around trying to catch sight of who, or what, had descended on them. James caught sight of his hand as it hesitantly pulled out the gun from under his jacket. Shooting now would be dangerous though, the shadows and constant motion making it all but impossible to avoid the risk of hitting his companions. 

James and Alec would have to make sure he didn’t get an opening. 

James felt sausage like fingers wrap around his bicep, tightening into a bruising force and yanking the blond boy harshly back. He probably didn’t expect James to slam his head right into the man’s balls, but that was rather the point, surprising him and sending him crumpling to the ground. It also gave James time enough to take hold of the gun.

He’d held rifles before plenty when his father and Kincade had taught him how to hunt, but the small handgun was a new feel. It felt good. Natural even. That should probably have bothered him, but he was too relieved to now have means to protect Alec and Q.

The first thing he did was turn and shoot the man holding Q in the knee.

The shot rang out startlingly loud in the silence of the forest, making Alec and his two opponents freeze in place and look over his way as their companion fell down screaming and clutching the bloody mess of what was once his knee. He dropped the bag holding Q.

Alec was the first to unfreeze, reaching down to pull out a prize for himself. Now he and James were both armed.

Another shot rang out and a pained yelp exploded behind where James stood. The blond boy whipped around to see the man from before a mere two feet away from him, gasping as he pawed at his belly where a shiny black liquid was starting to pour out from his gut. It took only a second for James to realize that Alec had just saved his life. Did that mean he owed him another mopping session?

There was no time to figure out the checks and balances of their lives, not with two men still fully in play and Q vulnerable on the ground, still tied up in the sack and alarmingly still. 

Especially when the reality of their hideously dangerous fight came to light as both of them saw the two remaining guns make their appearance.

There was no cover. James and Alec were clearly identifiable now that they were no longer fighting the downed men. And they were expendable. They didn’t need two rebellious teens. They needed Q. Collateral damage meant nothing to people like them.

It took James by surprise though, when instead of getting shot, the man pointing a gun at him fell back suddenly, a bullet hole dead center of his forehead. Following the trajectory, James saw clearly that Alec was the one with the smoking barrel. What was even more surprising was James realizing that he had gotten out a shot too, and that the man aiming for Alec was now dead from a clean head shot as well. 

They hadn’t even hesitated when it came to saving each other. Instinct coming forth as surely as the sunrise to save the ones they most cared for. It would have been a beautiful feeling perhaps if James wasn’t trying to come to immediate terms of killing someone at least twice his age. 

The gun felt enormously heavy in his grip, but his hands didn’t shake at all. 

Alec was alive, and that was enough to justify anything.

The two men remaining, the gut shot from before, and the one with the broken wrist, both injuries courtesy of Alec’s talents, stared at the two boys with what could have been horror, but who were the real monsters here? They were trying to kidnap a little boy to use as their little computer slave. They didn’t have a leg to stand on. 

“What are we going to do with the last two,” Alec asked, his gaze cold and calculating, ignoring the pleas of the men as they begged for forgiveness and lives. Both promising to disappear and never come back. 

It was possibly true, that they would keep their promise, but James knew that whoever their bosses were would hold no such promise. They would send more and more as long as they thought they stood a chance at getting their dirty mitts on Q. Sending back to men complaining of children taking them down wasn’t message enough. The real message to be sent was that anyone sent out would not be coming back. 

“If we’re going to keep Q safe, we can leave no one the ability to spread word of his whereabouts. No survivors, no words. And those unlucky enough to find us again will not live to feel their regret,” James said, raising his gun in time with Alec.

The protesting screams died out as the sounds of two twin shots sang out in the small clearing. 

Four bodies. All from the hands of the two of them. It should be damning. What kind of children were capable of doing such things? James knew he should feel some sort of crisis perhaps, but…

“It’s a good thing St. Francis’ is too broke to afford an on-site psychiatrist. Pretty sure this would land us in a psych ward for life,” Alec intoned blandly, staring down at the body closest to his feet. 

James snorted, “As if we’d tell anyone about this.”

The two of them moved past the bodies, crouching beside the canvas sack as their blank expressions slowly melted into ones of deep worry as they noted the complete lack of movement.

Alec pulled out his knife, cutting at the cords of the top and ripping it down until they spotted the top of a familiar tousled head and eventually his small body bent awkwardly from being stuffed in there roughly. 

James clenched his jaw as he carefully pulled Q’s limp body from the bag, settling him cradled in his lap as Alec began to frantically run his hands all over, looking for injury. 

“How long does chloroform keep you out for? Is he supposed to be this limp?” Alec asked, concern lacing his words as he pressed the side of his head down onto Q’s small chest, listening to his slow and shallow breathing.

James shook his head, feeling out of his depth for the first time that night, “I don’t know. Movies show it anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. He’s so small though. Maybe they gave him too much?”

Alec pulled back, frown deepening, “He isn’t wheezing at least. Nothing is swollen like it’s broken. He does have some bruises forming on his chest and arms. Probably them holding him still as they drugged him. Bloody bastards.”

James clutched tighter to the body he held, dipping his head down until he lips almost touched the rim of Q’s ear, “Hey, you’re safe now. We’ve got you. Wake up for us, please? You’re giving Alec quite the fright and I don’t think he can pull off grey this young.”

“Oi, neither could you!”

James rolled his eyes, shaking Q gently, “Come on. Wake up.”

“Open your eyes for us, kitten,” Alec cooed, brushing at some sweaty curls that had fallen over his eyes. 

A small frown formed on Q’s slackened face, followed by a low and pitiful moan. 

Both of the older boys broke into wide grins.

“That’s it, up you get!” Alec said, tapping at one of Q’s cheeks lightly. 

Q slapped at the hand, lips curling in displeasure as he forced his eyes open to stare up at the two of them in confusion. His brow beetled together as he looked up, eyes squinted since his glasses were nowhere to be seen.

“Are those trees?” he asked finally.

James’ laugh may have been bordering on hysterical, but after a night light this he was more than entitled. Alec let his head sag for a moment before he nodded dumbly, ruffling Q’s hair as he sat back on his haunches. 

“Those are indeed trees,” Alec said tiredly, but the smile was still there. 

“Oh,” was all Q said before he suddenly turned in James arms and became sick in the dirt.

James rubbed soothing circles on his back as he wretched, wincing as Q heaved and whimpered.

“Why the hell does my mouth taste like pennies?” he whined, falling back into James arms as he fought off another wave of dizziness, “Wait…I was drugged wasn’t I? They came for me.”

James held Q sit up a bit, holding him steady as he swayed dangerously in his hands. He sighed sadly, “Yes. Four men tried to kidnap you. We got you back though. You’re safe.”

Q raised a questioning eyebrow at the two of them, “Oh, thank you. Where are they now?”

Alec and James fell silent, eyes locking onto each other as they fell into a small panic, the first waves of shame falling on them. They had just killed four people. Killed. With guns. They may not feel guilty about saving Q in such a way, but most people wouldn’t see that as a good thing. People didn’t like killers. There would be no way to hide it though. Not with the evidence literally laid out before them. 

It didn’t take long before Q’s inquisitive mind had him looking at the woods around them. Glasses or no, the general shape and size of a body was hard to miss. Boulders didn’t wear clothes or have limbs after all.

James felt Q’s entire body tense up in his arms as he caught sight of them.

“Oh my god, are those—did you—are you--?”

“If we didn’t then they would have come back, Q,” James said.

“We’re sorry, kitten. We couldn’t let them have another go at you. Plus, they tried to kill us first,” Alec added.

They both wondered if this would be the last time that Q let them anywhere near him. He’d been around bad people his whole life already. Why would he want to stick around for some more?

To both of their surprise, Q huffed, rolling his eyes at them, “Of course they would have tried to come back. I just can’t believe you’d do that for me. You weren’t hurt, were you?” he asked, squinting in the darkness to try and find anything amiss on his two friends. 

James was the first to shake off his surprise, “Um, few cuts and bruises but nothing we can’t hide from the ‘dults.”

Q sagged in relief, “Oh good. I would have felt awful if you got hurt for me. Thank you, truly. It’s dark, but I think I recognize the big one from one of the crime families I was sent to once. They were…mean.”

James looked back over to the large corpse, sneering at it as he took joy knowing that he died while in agony. They had tried to take Q and kill Alec. He would kill anyone a thousand times over for even laying a finger on either of them, the thought strangely not alarming in the intensity of the promise. Then he realized something as he took in the four bodies.

“What are we going to do with them?” he asked finally.

Q bit his lip, sitting up a bit more and taking in the scene. Alec moved to block his view, not wanting him to see so much carnage, but Q gently pushed him back, whispering that they were not the first bodies he’d seen. James thought back to Q’s story of hiding while his parents were murdered, shivering at the thought of having seen something like that so young. 

“Missing persons’ reports are almost never filed for criminals, so nobody should come looking for them. The Family will write them off as a loss and hopefully give up their endeavors. We can’t just leave them out in the open to be found by mistake though. St. Francis is the closet structure to the woods, it would be the first place they looked. We don’t want any criminal activity to be linked to us. We have to get rid of the bodies,” Q said clinically. James still found it absolutely adorable to hear such words like endeavors coming from someone so young, but Q’s reasoning was sound.

“Burning would draw too much attention. Best bet would be to bury them,” James said.

Alec groaned loudly, flopping back onto the dirt with his arms splayed out, “Fuck. I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. So much for getting any sleep tonight.”

* * *

It had taken them up until sunrise to bury the bodies using the shovels from the shack back at the home. They only just managed to sneak in, shower and change out of their filthy clothes and slide under their sheets before everyone starting to rouse for breakfast.

It only took them five minutes from there before the shrieking from Mr. Frond echoed through the halls as he found the broken glass. 

They had all received a sharp scolding from their overseer over a breakfast of dry biscuits and spoiled jam, informing them that they will conduct an investigation to find out who broke the window. It was an empty threat. They had no way of finding out. It did peeve Alec enough to rant all the way through breakfast at how no one even seemed to consider that someone broke  _ in.  _ He only stopped when Q pointed out that who would possibly believe there was anything worth stealing in this place. 

They were exhausted.

When it came time for the boys to head out in the yard, they barely had the energy to climb up onto their wall before collapsing against each other. Q was out like a light as soon as his head fell onto Alec’s lap and his feet were tucked up close to James thigh. 

Alec wiped his hand over his face, rubbing over tired eyes as he absently rubbed his hand over Q’s bony shoulder.

“Do you think more will come for him?” he asked James after he was sure Q was fully asleep between them.

James sighed, lifting his chin into the air and closing his heavy eyelids, “If he’s important enough to send four armed men, I expect many more to come,” he said, hand closing possessively over a skinny ankle pressed up against his leg. Not for the first time, James wondered just what the hell they had gotten themselves into. Just how special was their little charge that he had the criminal world up in arms about getting their hands on him. 

Looking at him now, all he saw was a child with eyes shadowed with experiences of someone aged a hundred times his scant years. He needed to be protected, not exploited. He needed a family, not masters. How Q had managed to keep his sweet and positive disposition thus far was beyond James and his own jaded ways. 

Alec nodded after a beat, “I thought so too. Good thing we kept those guns. May need to find more ammo for them. There’s no way we’re letting those sick bastards steal a child. What kind of fucked up world do we live in that people do that?”

James grunted in agreement, “I’m starting to see why the government likes to kill in secrecy. Get rid of the baddies more effectively than  _ proper channels _ in the public eye. Bet that saves them a lot of headaches in the end.”

Alec chuckled, “Very true.”

They sat like that for a while, Q sleeping soundly between them as they kept a tired, but sharp lookout around them. It was strange, seeing all of the boys going about their little lives, completely oblivious to the dangers that had lurked through their halls the night before. They didn’t bat an eye at the dirtied footprints of feet a tad too large crossing through their yard. They didn’t pick up on the deadly energy that now seemed to hover around Alec and James as they sat like wardens to the underworld on either side of their treasure. 

A chill blew through the yard, making Q shiver between them, unconsciously burrowing deeper against his friends with a sleepy hum. 

James watched him for a moment, marveling at how he was still there, willingly by their sides as if nothing had happened the night before.

“Shouldn’t he be scared of us?” James whispered, awed by what he was feeling.

“He should be. I’d say he’s an idiot for trusting us, but we both know idiot is a word that could never be used to describe him truthfully. I don’t rightly know what it means that he hasn’t started to avoid us like the plague, but…I’m glad he’s still here.”

“Me too.”

It was a good feeling, that was the only word that James had to describe it. He and Alec were united in their promise to keep Q safe, because despite all the logic in the world, the three of them belonged together. They would raze the world to see it so.

* * *

PRESENT

They kept their promise, returning within the week from dropping off the vase and flying back to their little Irish hideaway. They had just managed to grab a flight back that night, rather than waiting until the next morning, and despite returning painfully late, it was worth the reddened eyes to come back half a day early. 

They disarmed the alarms before stepping inside, stealthily moving across the dark room and dropping their bags silently on the table as they crept towards the couch. 

Alec peered down fondly at their younger lover who was sprawled messily over their couch, hair in complete disarray and mouth slightly ajar. It wasn’t too long ago that Q could still only sleep while curled in on himself, and Alec was proud that he had recently seemed to feel safe enough to sleep openly with his belly exposed like that, shirt riding so high up on him that it appeared only his arms were keeping it on at that point. 

Beside him, James slowly curled an arm around Alec’s waist, joining him in his little voyeuristic moment.

“He looks good. Rested,” James commented quietly, his words spoken on the shell of Alec’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. 

It was a relief, seeing as it wasn’t always that way. They had often come home to Q all but on the brink of total exhaustion, half starved, and beside himself with anxiety as he waited for them to return. 

He just wished that Q would use the bloody bed without them. Then they wouldn’t have to wake him from what looked like a wonderfully dreamless sleep. 

James spared him the pain, taking lead and circling around the couch to crouch down low. James fingers began to card gently between those soft curls, scratching lightly at his scalp like Q adored. 

“Q, we’re home. Come to bed, darling,” James called softly. 

Q’s eyes slowly peeled open, a sleepy grin sliding over his lips as he stared up at his two lovers, “Hullo there,” he said groggily. 

Alec snickered, reaching over the back of the couch to cup Q’s cheek in his hand, “And hello to you too, little one. How about you join us in the bed, yeah? Give your spine a bit of a break.”

Q moaned in pleasured agreement, flinging both of his gangly arms up in the air and making grabby hands up at James who dutifully bent down to pick him up and carry him carefully into their bedroom. 

It was a simple bedroom, lacking the normal knick knacks that most other shared rooms would hold. There were no photographs, or art pieces, but it held its own comforts. Like the incredibly sturdy bedframe that held a sinfully comfortable mattress, as well as what could have been a mountain of blankets tall enough to consider a day hike. James and Alec hardly worried about feeling cold in any type of weather, but Q needed to be at least a three-layered burrito before he would stop shoving iced feet under their legs at night. 

James lay Q on the bed and Alec was just about to move in with the blankets with Q whining, pushing back the fabric with a pout on his lips, glaring up at them accusingly.

“You’ve been gone for two weeks,” he pointed out haughtily, raising a single brow suggestively at the two men before him. 

Alec laughed, “Aren’t you too tired, love? We’ll still be here tomorrow to make you feel good.”

Q huffed, crossing his arms over his chest “Are  _ you _ too tired?”

Alec and James exchanged glances, dirty grins falling into place.

“Never too tired for you,” James replied for the both of them as Alec dropped the blankets to the floor and dove on the bed. 

While some considered three to a bed a rather crowded and confusing affair, it had never been so for the three of them. Even their first time all together had been easy and sweet. There never was anyone left feeling ignored or even worse, forgotten. It was natural between them, as much as it was when it was just a pair making love. The mutual adoration between them all was blatant and visceral in the way they came together.

Alec couldn’t get enough of the feeling of being surrounded by his lovers, and knew they felt the same in the way James' fingers trailed over his arms and in how Q’s soft lips found his own in the dark. His own hands were busy going back and forth between the beautiful bodies before him, still thrilling him even after years of enjoying them. He would never tire of the two men that lay beneath him, tangled together. 

Q let out a happy purr as James began to lick his way up the long dip of his spine, his eyes fluttering shut as he rutted down into the sheets. One of his arms lazily flung out until it found purchase on Alec’s thigh, seeking out some contact with his other lover. Soon his clever little fingers were dragging his nails along the skin of Alec’s inner thigh, sending shocks of pleasure up to his groin. 

There were a hundred different ways to go about their love making, but knowing that Q was the one who was all by his lonesome the last few weeks meant that James and he zeroed in on their lithe lover to fulfill him of all that he’d been missing. 

Alec spooned up against Q’s side, nuzzling his growing stubble against a pale shoulder, “How do you want us tonight, kitten?” he asked, voice deep and rumbling. Alec loved how limitless the possibilities were, and he let the excitement grow as he began to nip gently at Q’s neck. Be it James rough and thorough fucking of either or both of them, or Q's gentle and loving breech, Alec enthusiasm and creativity, and each and every combination in between, they were all bloody fantastic.

Q hummed thoughtfully, pausing the small thrusts of his hips as he seemed to think it over. After a moment, he carefully turned on his back to look up at them, his eyes half mast as he trailed his gaze over the two of them. 

“Both of you,” he whispered finally, already spreading his legs wantonly as he voiced his decision, knees falling until they just barely touched the mattress. He was already hard enough that his pretty cock dragged heavily across his flat belly. 

Alec would never stop marveling at how readily Q would fall into such vulnerable positions around them, his trust seemingly never ending with the two of them despite their strength and penchant for violence. He swallowed hard, glancing over at James with a brow raised in question. The request, after all, was not one they often did seeing as it meant Q would be sore enough the next day to be all but confined to bed.

James was not frowning, already knowing that if he showed visible concern that Q would become agitated, but he still slowed his movements down, carefully allowing a few moments to pass as the request hung heavy in the air, “And you’ll be alright tomorrow?” he asked eventually, carefully making sure he didn’t sound like he was questioning the choice.

Q nodded, his eyes glazed over as he fell back further into the sheets, wild hair fanning out behind his head, “Yes. You’ll both be here to keep me safe. Now, both of you, please.”

As if either of them could ever deny him such a request. He even said please. 

“Anything for you, love,” Alec said with a cat-like grin, knowing that this meant it was his turn to step up to the plate as it were. While James may have been the most talented at delivering a world class fucking, Alec’s stellar talents were in preparation and foreplay. Both of which would be needed in short order if the two of them were going to both fit their cocks into Q’s fantastically tight arse. 

Already knowing this as well, James was already moving from his position over Q and shifting over to his side, but his hands never left the pale skin as they still roamed over the sharp panes of Q’s body. 

Alec all but dove into the vacated spot, happily tossing the limp legs over his shoulders to get prime access, all the while grinning like a loon, “Fingers or tongue to start, love?” he asked.

He felt Q shiver beneath him at the question, “T-tongue” came the tentative reply, and Alec set right to work. He heard James groan somewhere above them, taking in the sights no doubt and loving every fucking second of it. 

Q’s vocal contribution came in the second Alec’s tongue touched his rim, a sweet keening noise filling the room as he tried to keep himself from waking the neighbors. As if Alec cared about them, it just made him work harder to get Q to scream as he thrust his tongue inside. 

He felt movement to his left and glanced over to see James stroking his own cock as he watched Alec get Q ready for the two of them. The normally startlingly blue eyes were dark as pleasure rode out the color. Alec felt his own cock jump between his legs at the sight. 

Alec took his time getting Q nice and pliant, while riling him up to almost the point of no return, and only after reaching that point did Alec reach out his hand to James. Immediately a bottle of lube was slapped into his palm, James' own eagerness coming into play as Q lay writhing between them, gasping and whining for more. 

“Time for the real prep now, kitten,” Alec warned before easily sliding in the first finger, quickly followed by a second. By the time he added a third, Q was readily pushing his hips down against his hand, impatiently whining.

James would have none of it though, quieting him with soft words and filthy kisses to distract him while Alec worked his magic. 

“Hush now, darling. We’ll have you all full soon enough, we just want to make sure it doesn’t hurt any more than it should,” he soothed, dampening the sound of Q’s protests by plundering his own tongue past Q’s lips. 

“James is right, not your average junk here after all,” Alec said with a smirk that got wider when he twisted his fingers. Q’s hips left the bed as he cried out in pleasure. 

From there Alec began to slow down his progress even more, taking longer with another added digit as James continued to whisper words of praise and patience into Q’s ear as he continued to squirm under Alec. Once four fingers were taken with ease, Alec began to work his two thumbs in, spreading and kneading gently. 

It took a while yet, but eventually, after what felt like an eternity for all three of them, Alec felt that Q was ready. 

Q was about as pliant as an al-dente noodle on the sheets, loose limbed and only half coherent as he fell into a some deep pleasured zone. Nodding towards the head of the bed, James signaled for Alec to prop himself up against the pillows. James would do the rest of the work tonight.

Once situated, James carefully rolled Q up onto Alec’s lap until they lay limply chest to chest. Alec felt his cock settle between the cheeks of Q’s arse as he placed his hands on Q’s slender hips to hold him in place. 

“Hullo there,” he said softly, smiling when Q’s head rolled lazily to the side so that he could look up at Alec.

“Hullo,” he replied, somehow managing to lift his head just enough to catch Alec’s lips with his own, biting down on the lower one gently, just how Alec loved. 

Behind Q, James knelt down between Alec’s legs, running his hands up and down his thighs that bracketed their smaller lover. He looked tenderly down at them, a softness that fell over his weathered features that only came about when they were all alone. Alec loved that look on him. They didn’t get to be soft very often, but when James got that look it was enough to make Alec’s heart feel as though it would burst. 

“You first, Alec,” James offered, reaching out to grip Q’s hips and pull him back enough that Alec felt his cock brush against Q’s entrance. He didn’t even have to move before James took him in his hand and guided him into the loose warmth. 

“Shit” Alec muttered as he felt Q clench around him. Two weeks had felt like a lifetime since he’d gotten to enjoy this last. And going off of the content sigh puffed out against his neck, Q felt the same. It was impossible to resist thrusting his hips now that he was inside Q, the feeling too fantastic to hold back.

James above them did nothing to stop him, and was instead watching the two of them join with a hungry look in his eye as Alec rocked slowly in and out of their lover. 

Eventually though, even James got impatient, and Alec felt two fingers push their way in alongside his cock that he was still rhythmically pumping into Q. The squeeze was incredible already and Alec let out a stuttered breath in anticipation of it becoming even more so. 

Another finger worked its way in, and it brought the first sign of discomfort from Q in the form of a soft whimper and tensing of the spine, both eased away as Alec cooed at him, rubbing his hands up and down the lean flanks as he gentled him back into pleasured moans. 

“Easy now, love. It’ll feel good soon enough. You’re doing beautifully.”

Q nodded a bit frantically, his eyes wide and pleading as he looked up at Alec. “James, please,” he called out.

“Shh. Right here, Q,” James replied, shuffling up until Alec could feel the head of his cock rub against his shaft. He let his head fall back against the headboard as he felt James begin to press in, the pressure turning into an almost blinding pleasure as he slotted in next to him. 

Both of the older men moaned in unison as they both finally were seated inside Q’s warmth. Alec felt James fingers digging into the skin where they were still clenched around his thighs. He hoped there were bruises in the morning. Memories and all that. His own hands were still gripped tightly to Q’s hips, to keep them all stable as Q tried to adjust to being so full. 

They held as still as statues until they felt the small and tentative movements from Q as he tried to begin rocking between the two muscled bodies sandwiching him. Only then did James begin to move above them, the friction of his cock against Alec’s only made all the more incredible by Q wrapped tightly around them. 

“Fuck,” Alec bit out as Q gasped sharply, both of their mouths falling slack with the pleasure James was delivering. 

Somehow, Alec managed to push a hand between his and Q’s bodies, wrapping his fist around Q’s cock and pumping it back to fullness, enjoying each and every sound that escaped from both his lover’s lips. It was sex in stereo and it was bloody sexy as fuck. 

Soon the room was too hot in the best way, sweat and lubricant pooling between all of them until they were practically glowing with it. The familiar musky scent of the three of them reached Alec’s nose, drowning him in the presence of his lovers as if having the all three of them linked together so intimately wasn’t enough to drive that home. 

Eventually James was able to work up speed and ferocity as he pounded against the two of them to where even Alec was a babbling mess alongside Q. Before long, Alec could feel himself and Q in his hand getting close. 

“James,” he called out, knowing that James would know what he meant by the desperation in his voice alone. 

He must have heard because his hips started to move fast enough to slap against skin loudly, turning Q’s sharp cries into shouts of bliss. Moments later Alec felt the wet heat of Q’s spend coat their bellies, his body sagging against his own. Alec’s mouth dropped open into a silent shout as pleasure overwhelmed him, his climax hitting him suddenly as James cursed loudly with his own release, the two of them filling up Q as a mess of lubricant and cum leaked out around them. 

Alec was still seeing stars as he felt James roll off of them, careful not to crush either of them with his weight. Heavy eyelids fell shut as he listened to James pad over to the bathroom all while Alec held Q firmly against his heaving chest. 

Eventually the footsteps came back, and James began to carefully clean up the two of them, taking his time especially with Q as he gently rolled him off of Alec and back onto the bed.

“Such a gentleman,” Alec quipped, grinning when he saw the flash of white teeth as James smiled indulgently. James had always taken after care seriously, something both Q and Alec adored about him.

Alec let his eyes shut again and James continued to putter around the room, grabbing blankets, double checking the security, checking the room temp, grabbing Q a glass of water that he almost always needed in the middle of the night. It all sounded domestic in a way that had Alec feeling warm and entertaining fuzzy thoughts. 

Eventually he heard James circle round the bed again, taking up the other side of Q, as per their usual arrangement.

“Alright, darling?” he asked, tossing aside the flannel and climbing in with them.

Q hummed contently in reply, a smile dusting over his lips as James draped a blanket over the three of them. Rolling over, Q draped himself over James’ bare chest, tucking his head into his shoulder as Alec moved up behind Q to spoon him from behind. 

He loved sleeping like this, his arms around Q’s middle, their hands joined on top of James' abdomen. James' arm swung over the two of them and draped lazily down until his fingers brushed against Alec’s shoulder. All of them together, as it should be. Like pieces of a puzzle coming together. No other pieces would ever fit the same. This was it for them.

He felt a rage of protectiveness roll through him as he looked over his two lovers that were already lax with sleep. James snoring softly, his breath shifting Q’s curls with small gusts of air. He couldn’t believe that all this was his.

Pressing his face against the back of Q’s neck, breathing in his scent, Alec let himself relax in small increments as he reminded himself that this was all real. James had never left his side. Q was  _ here. _

Heaven help whoever tried to separate them again. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Next Morning…

Q was indeed a bit too sore to hop out of bed when they all woke the next day, but he hardly minded since his lover’s were there too, being ever so doting as they tended to be. 

He always felt whole when they were there, not at all like the fractured creature he had been all those years ago. It was easy to feel safe when he had two remarkably protective and strong men at his side, loving him, caring for him. Q still didn’t know what he did to deserve the two of them, but he wisely chose not to question it. Most days anyway. 

Q had barely even managed to blink his eyes open before Alec had proudly presented a tray full of food in their bed, ignoring James’ protests behind him that Alec wasn’t even the one who cooked it. 

Q felt his face squish up into a giddy smile as his lover’s bickered around him over which blankets to pile on him and how long they would wait before bringing Q’s laptop over as requested, both insisting that certain percentages of the food must be gone before then. 

Q chuckled as he munched on some toast, watching the two of them.

Eventually they all ended up on the bed again, passing the hours pressed up closely to each other. Q reclined with his laptop against Alec who was watching the telly, James pressed up against the two of them as he read a novel. 

It was perfect in Q’s opinion, all of them relaxed and happy.

It was probably why he chose then to ask.

“Can we get a cat?”

Both Alec and James tensed up on either side of him, and immediately Q followed suit as his anxiety suddenly spiked.

James slowly put his book down, “A cat?”

“A live one?” Alec asked, pausing his movie.

Q scrunched up his nose in annoyance, “No, a dead one,” he snarked back, already regretting asking anything at all.

James was keeping calm at least, but Q could see that his mind was grinding all kinds of gears as he tried to process the request, “You want a cat for... companionship?”

Q dropped his gaze to his lap, fiddling with the keys on his laptop without actually pressing any, “I suppose, yes. I just saw some cat videos and they seem nice and don’t require me to take them for walks outside, and it would be nice to just...have a friend?”

There was silence as he finished, and he kept his head bowed as he waited for his lovers to have one of their silent conversations over his head. They did that a lot when they thought he wasn’t paying attention. Always so worried about upsetting him. 

He knew James would be the one to speak next. He was always the one who delivered the news.

Eventually James cleared his throat, one of his hands falling over Q’s shoulders, his thumb starting to rub circles on the skin it found, “Q, darling, a cat would be difficult to manage when it comes time to move again. Getting you across borders is hard enough as it is. And what happens if it needs a vet while we’re away?” he pointed out gently.

He of course felt it when Q’s tensed up shoulders dropped in saddened defeat. 

Alec would be next. It was his job to cheer Q up.

Not a moment later, Alec’s hand fell onto Q’s knee, squeezing it. 

“Is it because you’re lonely, kitten?”

Q paused a moment before nodding, no use trying to lie about it to them when they read him like a penny novel, “It’s fine. You’re right, James. Too much of a hassle, I should have realized. I’ll stick to the cat videos.”

Neither of them looked convinced, looking like their brains were on the fritz as they tried to process telling Q ‘no’ over anything when normally they would all but break their backs bending over backwards to please him. 

“Maybe we can take a short break from jobs? Or we can try that video chat thing again maybe? I’ve got a bunch of ideas to make those more fun. For example, we don’t let James do the camera work,” Alec tried, sounding hopeful. 

James growled, “It isn’t my fault that it doesn’t record automatically.”

“It’s a big blinking red button, how can you miss it?”

“I opened the application, it should start automatically.”

“For the last time, it’s just ‘app’ not application, you bloody fossil.”

Q couldn’t help the snort that escaped, nor the chuckled that followed. He sighed and glanced up at his lovers, leveling a glare at Alec, “I will not use video chat over hotel wifi if all you want to do is host your own sex chat room.”

“But we can change Facetime to Arsetime.”

“No.”

“Cocktime?”

“ _ No. _ ”

Alec sat back with a sigh, “Foiled again. Just because Q loses his erection whenever James stumbles his way through basic computer stuff…”

Q drifted out of the conversation after that, letting James’ and Alec’s voices to fill into the background, and turned back to his laptop. Eventually they both turned back to their own mode of entertainment, a somewhat comfortable silence falling between them all again.

Perhaps they were right though. If what he saw was real, then things could be get…

Q frowned, his brain grinding back into motion. There was work to be done.

“James? Can you fetch me that harddrive?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/Spoilers: In this chapter James and Alec end up killing people in order to protect Q. While this is nothing compared to other fics in this fandom, they are still children in this part of the story. So if that bothers you, please skip the PAST section of this chapter or reach out to me for a redacted version<3


	5. I Can't Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past: The world catches up with the boys, tearing them apart  
> Present: Q just wants some space while his lovers just want him happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back!!!!!  
> Phew, this story is a labor of love! The chapters are way longer than I usually write, but it's worth it to keep up with this format. I was actually able to post this chapter a few days early, so yay for that!
> 
> Moving forward with the plot in both past and present. Remember, there is still a huge block of time missing between where the past and present meet up, so don't worry if you are confused. I promise all will make sense eventually :)

PAST

Almost two years had passed since that night in the woods, the day standing out as a marker of when the three of them seemed to solidify into a single unit. Nobody had ever found out what had happened to the window that night, or what had occurred off in the forest. It was their little secret. Just the three of them, and they liked it like that.

A bit of paranoia had set in, but in James’ opinion it was the healthy kind. The kind that kept him and Alec ever vigilant and kept Q from wandering far from their sides. Q even went as far as to convince Mr. Frond that he needed to move into the older boys wing permanently, somehow pulling it off after an incredible debatual display. He even got himself moved up into their class by acing all the exams their pitiful school offered, but somehow not surpassing James’ and Alec’s exact levels.

Alec had been thrilled, smiling for the first time ever in their first class together, slowly inching his desk closer to Q’s as the day wore on under the excuse that he needed to borrow yet another pencil. 

After that, the three of them were inseparable.

Meals, classes, yard time, and even bedtime. They moved like a pack, flanking their smallest member and growling at any outsider that came too close. The mentality quickly shifted from James and Alec vs the world to James, Alec and Q vs. the world. 

It served them well as time move on.

Two more attempts were made in the scant months following the first kidnapping. Nine more bodies were added to the grave site in the deepest part of the woods that held nothing but needled vines and shadows. They could only find themselves blessed that they had managed to chase Q’s would be captors into the woods unseen each time, otherwise they would have surely drawn the attention of the authorities. They found themselves equally blessed when Q gifted them with the well cared for guns that they had stolen off of their last victims, all polished and cleaned and ready for use. 

After the two new attempts, the attention on Q died out a bit. Either people realized he wouldn’t be easy to obtain, or those with any brains to find him in the first place had given up. 

It wasn’t until after their first year that the “adoption” attempts were made. 

Q easily was able to spot that each  _ family _ that approached him were fake, the happy couples not even real couples. The background checks barely passing muster from what James had found when he broke into the records room. 

He and Alec had been all but ready to scoop up Q themselves and make a run for it, but Q had waved them down, sneaking into Frond’s room and hacking into the database, raising just enough red flags that even a shitty place like St. Francis’ wouldn’t feel right accepting. No families passed the background checks after that, and Q was never adopted.

Eventually they stopped coming, and things became quiet. Calm. 

The next threat was looming over the three of them though. A dark cloud appearing just over the horizon, casting shadows over their dimly lit lives.

* * *

“Three months.”

Alec tasted the words in his mouth, bitter and grainy. While time tended to drag on here like a granny’s tits, three months seemed alarmingly close now that they stared down at it.

James had stolen the yellowed calendar off of the wall in the infirmary earlier that morning after he had escorted Q there for his morning puff, and now it lay flat on the stone between the three of them. The innocent black numbers against the white paper looked far more daunting than they ever had before. Even in Maths. 

Next to him he felt James’ shoulder crest as he sighed heavily, his face grim as he looked over the dates.

“There was once a time that we dreamed of this day coming,” he muttered darkly, glancing over at Alec who felt much the same.

Q seemed to shrink in on himself a bit at the comment before James laid a steady hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tight, “Steady, Q. We’d rather have you than whatever shite job they assign us when our time’s up,” 

Alec groaned, all of them picturing the dim futures offered by the government program once they got out of here. They were looking at a dismal life as an underpaid factory worker. The military was also always an option, one that James and Alec had planned on before Q, but knowing that it would take them continents away made the choice almost impossible to take now. The very thought of being separated was like contemplating cutting off their own arm.

Q bit his lip, looking down sadly at the literal count down to their impending and probably separation.

“Maybe you two should take the jobs though. We’ll all need to grow up eventually, right?” He was trying to sound supportive, but there was an undertone of fear and uncertainty. James knew that it was equal parts fear of their future on the run and fear of being alone. 

Alec near growled at the very thought, “Never! We’d have to leave you behind. What if they come for you again, cricket? We can’t protect you unless we’re by your side.”

Q knew he was right, but he looked too pained to admit it, leaning back and looking up at them with a deep seated sorrow and remorse. James eyed the smaller boy next to him, disturbed that Q was feeling guilt in that moment. 

He’d grown a bit in the last two years, growing taller but not quite filling in with muscles like Alec and James had. Well, not at all if they were being honest, but Q hardly needed muscle when he had Alec and him. Both of them were proud that Q had begun to look almost his age and not like the malnourished mouse they had first met. His hair still was just as riotous as it ever was, something James secretly adored and had a feeling Alec did too. If they succeeded in getting out of this place, they both had plans to find every sweet offering they could and stuff Q full of them until he finally filled out properly. If it meant traveling to every country in the world, James would make it his mission to find a treat everywhere he went if it meant putting a smile, and some weight, on him. 

Q looked almost pained as he reached out to trace one fine boned finger over the red circled date, “You both mean everything to me. You’ve kept me safe. You’ve become the only family I’ve ever truly loved. You’ve made me happier than I have ever been before, which is why I feel awful that I’m making you throw away your lives for me like this. You’re about to age out of this place. You’ll be free from the ‘dults. Free from this place. You can finally  _ live. _ ”

James looked at him steadily, “There’s no living without you, Q.”

Alec shook his head, “Not anymore. You’re part of us and we aren’t leaving you behind.”

Q looked torn, but James could tell by the way he inched closer to his side that he was as loathed to be separated from them. He felt small fingers curl into the hem of his coat, turning white with the power of the grip against the denim fabric. 

There was a tickle of a doubt in his own mind, an irritating thought of what quality of life that they could all have on the run, the government hunting them down, but James squashed it down for now. Q needed them. 

* * *

A plan began to form.

Three weeks prior to their age out date, they would board a cargo train at the nearby station. Alec already had procured cutters to let them break into a box that would take them far up north where the populations were dispersed, and CCTV was sparse. They had plenty of time to gather food and supplies, hiding them away in the bramble thicket in the woods. They even had a stash of cash growing from James quick fingers in the pockets of the ‘dults, and a few of their victims. Eventually they would steal a laptop for Q and he could set them up a bank account and all the fake documents a few runaways could ever need to blend in with society. 

They even had new names picked out and ready. 

The excitement was building for James. The light at the end of what used to feel like an endless tunnel. They were almost free. The three of them!

It took several more days of convincing, but Q eventually gave in to their plans looking more relieved that anything else. James knew for a fact that Q was terrified to be left behind. It was only his overwhelming care for the two of them that overrode his personal safety concerns in the first place. It was...warming, to think that someone like Q could feel that way towards him and Alec. 

There was blood on their hands. They were permanently stained and they weren’t even eighteen yet. There were nine bodies buried not even a kilometer from where they slept like baby’s, taking turns sharing bunks with Q. While Q would argue that he was also guilty in their deaths, it wasn’t the same. He had never physically ended a life by his own hands. Alec and James would never allow it. Death in any and all forms was to never touch Q in such a way. 

Even being so tainted, Q clung to them like guardian angels. Staring up at them in awe and wonder, practically glowing under their attention. It was almost easy sometimes for them to believe that they were something  _ good. _ It was addicting. It made their blood run warm. It made them want to keep Q safe with almost a frenetic energy.

It scared the other boys around them though, which suited James just fine since it made for a nice perimeter between them and the others. Nobody even so much as looked at Q anymore. Nobody even attempted to approach James or Alec either, even when alone. The ‘dults stopped addressing Q directly, instead turning to one of them instead. Alec loved it too, reveling in the peace it brought.

James didn’t even pause to think that it would eventually fuck them all over.

He should have known better. Nothing in life was ever easy for them. Good things never lasted.

* * *

Their happy little bubble burst eleven days before they had planned to run away. 

Their shoulders tense and back ramrod straight, James and Alec were led into Frond’s office one morning. Being in there was hardly intimidating, no amount of reprimands in the past had even made them so much as flinch, but the fact that Q had not been permitted to come was troubling in its own right. 

They could be reasonably sure no one would lay a finger on Q in their absence, already building up the reputation that anyone who so much as looked at him funny ran the risk of bodily harm. Even so, not having him at their side felt like a gaping hole.

It also didn’t help that once seated in the office, six more ‘dults stepping in as well.

James eyed them cautiously, noting two familiar “caretakers” in addition to Frond, and three other large men. All dressed in military uniform. 

“Is this some new kind of recruitment tactic then?” Alec asked the room at large, not even blinking under the intense scrutiny of all the older people present. 

One in particular stood out to James. A tall man, fifties, salt and peppered hair and worn face that looked like it hadn’t twitched into a smile in thirty plus years. James wasn’t an expert in military rankings, but he could plainly see he had the most stripes and metal bits than anyone else in there, so he probably held the highest position there, not that they cared. He was looking down at them like puzzles, not quite condescending, but not with an ounce of recognizable respect either. 

Frond, the little toad of a man, sat at this desk, fingers folded on his desk as he stared down his glasses at the two of them.

“In a way,” he started nervously, “It had been noted in your files from a few years back that you were considering joining the Navy after you both reached your age out time. I’ve been informed that you have yet to choose a job as of yet, so we thought we’d help things along. These three men are all Naval officers and would--”

“Not happening,” Alec said shortly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Frond’s mouth gaped as he stared up at the officers wide eyed.

“It’s an excellent opportunity boys--”

“Like he said. Not happening. We are not signing any contracts. We’ll finish our time here and then be out of your hair for good,” James cut off, speaking slowly. 

Frond sat back in his chair, nervously tapping his fingers on the arm rests, “May I ask why?”

“Three weeks from now our lives will be none of your goddamn business, so how about we just start that mentality now?” James snarked back, baring his teeth. 

“Could it be something to do with the little Quinn boy?” the ranking officer asked, bored curiosity plain in his voice. 

Alec and James shot out of their chairs, “Don’t you ever use that name again,” Alec shouted as he and James were grabbed from behind by the spare naval officers. 

The sudden restriction of their arms had both of them turning almost feral in their movements as they tried to shake the men off. Snarling and baring their teeth, kicking out at air as they were lifted from behind. James felt a fury rise in him, sparked by the regard to Q and further fanned by the arms holding him down. Next to him he could sense Alec reacting the same, and it was like adding fuel to the fire.

“Let go of him!” he shouted, spit flying as he snarled at the men holding Alec. How dare they touch him? How dare they try to hold him down when they were so close to being free?

Alec was growling like a trapped animal, the force of his kicks so powerful that it almost knocked him and the men holding him to the ground. 

Frond had turned pale and sweaty, hand twitching towards the phone as if to call for help, but the gray haired officer stopped him by merely walking slowly and calmly towards the two angry boys with narrowed eyes.

“Cease!” he shouted suddenly, the shock of it actually making both James and Alec pause in their struggling and to look up at him, panting heavily. Slowly, he began to pace back and forth in front of them, looking them head to toe like an inspection of bugs at his feet.

His expression never changed as he took in the boys before him, eerily calm next to Frond who looked about a minute away from an aneurysm.

“It is plain to see, Mr. Frond, that you let things go too far in regards to these boys. You gave them too much independence when what they needed was discipline. They believe they are in control of their lives,” he said disapprovingly. He stopped in front of James, staring him down, “You two think you are capable of making your own life choices, yet you are willing to throw away an opportunity for a kid who can’t even speak for himself now because you two have taken over his life. Doesn’t seem fair to any of you, now does it?”

“You know nothing,” James hissed at him. 

“I know that the boy is a brilliant little thing, and that Mr. Frond here tells me the government is willing to send him to a special school for gifted youngsters. The only reason he hasn’t done so yet is because he worried that you two would harm anyone who tried to give your little friend a better life. He could go on the greater things if you two would just let him breathe a bit.”

This time Alec was the one who growled low, “You. Know. Nothing.”

“He’s safest with us,” James said.

The officer looked mildly surprised, “Safe? What danger could he possibly be in? And do you think that two children such as yourselves could do a better job at keeping him safe than the security team at a school full of the rich and influential people’s spawn? He’d be more protected than a bank safe in the dorms. And he’d certainly receive the best care there is. Food, trained nurses for his asthma, warm bed. What makes you think you can do better?”

James and Alec shared a glance, a little of the fight draining out of them.

“Frond tells me the boy loves books and learning. He would be surrounded by all that, protected, cared for, and with a brighter future than anyone with his background could possibly dream of having. And yet here the two of you are, penniless, hopeless, and with no life ahead. And you claim that he is better off with you?”

James refused to duck his head despite the words sitting heavy in his skull.

“If you truly cared for him, you wouldn’t be so selfish.”

Alec and James hung limply in the arms of the officers, turning in unison towards each other with matching sad eyes.

“The violent way the two of you just responded to a simple inquiry tells me that you are dangerous to others, including the boy.”

“We’d never hurt him!” Alec protested.

“But yet you hold him back from a better life. How is that not hurting him?” he shot back, his eyes narrowing as he watched the slumped shoulders of the two boys in front of him. He could sense victory in the way the two of them were all but lit up in doubts now, their faces wan and drawn as they glanced at one another. The gray haired officer squared his shoulders and clicked his feet to attention, “Clearly your obsession with him has caused harm to his and your own growth. Should you reject my offer, Mr. Frond has been advised to send Q away to another home somewhere you won't find him and he will not receive the government funding. I have more pull that you could ever imagine, so take my word as gospel. Now then, gentlemen. I have a deal to offer you. And you better pay attention, because I will not offer this again. It is now, or never.”

* * *

Their heads hung low and they were escorted out of the office, all the fight drained out of them as their hearts plummeted to their feet. On their shoulders they could feel the tight grip of a hand digging into their skin as they marched forward onto whatever life decided to kick them in the balls with next. 

The last time that Alec had ever felt like this was when he was being escorted in here for the first time. Another heavy hand had rested on his shoulder then too, and the same dread of the future looming around him like a smog. 

The floor looked just as dirty back then as well.

Alec felt sick. 

In the span of an hour, all sense of hope and happiness was shredded before their eyes as they signed away the next eight years of their lives in exchange for Q’s safety and education. It felt dirty doing it without consulting him, but if Q had been there then there would have been no physical way to make them give up their shared heart. 

_ It’s for the best. It’s for the best. It’s for the best… _

_ He’s better off without you. _

_ You have blood on your hands as it is. _

“Mr. Frond will send over whatever belongings he deems necessary, but we will leave now. Best not to drag these things on.”

They began to walk down the empty hallways, the other boys must be getting settled in for bed. Would Q be told what happened before he crawled into an empty bunk, or would he be left guessing and worrying until morning?

“Don’t we...don’t we get to say goodbye? Explain things to him?” James asked, his voice rough as his throat constricted. 

“No. The caretakers here will see to that. You’ve done enough damage as it is,” the officer said with no pity. 

James flinched as if slapped.

They continued to walk down the hallway, just about making it to the door when they heard a commotion coming from the older boy's wing.

“Wait! Where are you taking them?! Where are they going?” came an awfully familiar cry. 

James didn’t want to turn around, but his gaze searched out for Q like a beacon.

Down the hall they saw their small companion, already dressed in his too large pajamas, and being held back by Mr. Frond and two others as he fought against their grips. His eyes were wide in panic, his small chest rising and falling erratically as he sucked in terrified gasps.

“Come back to bed, dear. We’ll explain,” Mr. Frond tried, but it only made Q fight back harder. 

“No! Let me go to them, please! Alec! James!” he screamed, his cheeks turning a splotchy red as tears started to fall down them, “Where are you taking them?”

Alec made a pained noise off to his left, jerking against the hands that still held them.

“Q!” he called out, sounding like the name was torn from his chest. 

“Alec! Please, don’t go. Please! I don’t want to be alone!”

James felt like he was going to choke. His eyes felt hot, burning as he began to let tears fall for the first time in seven years, “Q, we’re so sorry,” he called out, his voice cracking.

Q’s eyes got impossibly wider and he began to claw at the arms holding him like a spooked cat, “No, no! James, please! You said we belonged together,” he gasped out, panting like he’d run a marathon. 

“You’re better than what we could give you. Just let us go,” James called back, ignoring the pained look that Alec gave him. 

Q shook his head, his breaths coming out now in pained wheezing, “No, no. You promised. Don’t leave me behind!” he gasped loudly, knees buckling under him as he struggled to take in another breath. 

James and Alec both jerked forward seeing him fall into an all too familiar asthma attack, their immediate instincts telling them that Q needed them by his side. They fell short though, as the grips on their shoulders tightened painfully. 

“Let them handle it. We’re going now,” the officer ordered harshly, signaling for his men to begin dragging the two boys out the door. 

They were too stunned and horrified to even fight back, watching as their Q fell to the floor with a skinny arm reached out towards them.

“No. No!” he gasped, “Help, I--I can’t breath!”

\--------------------------

PRESENT

A few nights later James walked towards the familiar blue glow coming out from Q’s little hacker lair, cup of non-caffeinated tea in his hands. Night may have been a generous term, seeing as the sun would rise soon enough, but if he hadn’t gone to sleep yet James counted it as the same day. 

Propping himself up against the doorframe, he stared in at the familiar figure hunched over the keyboard, hair in agitated disarray while several screens flashed above with indecipherable nonsense to those with less than genius status. The sounds of typing filled the room like raindrops against a window. Soothing and constant. 

The plate of food that Alec had brought in hours before had been half eaten, making James sigh heavily as he mentally planned for a hefty meal later to make up for the lost calories.

The sound was just enough to startle Q from his coding zone, pausing to turn around and glance at whoever had interrupted him.

Upon seeing it was James, he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Oh. Hello.”

James raised a single brow, “Hello,” he said, trying to sound as unimpressed as he felt. 

Q’s eyes shifted and forth quickly, a nervous tick he’d had as long as they knew him, “Um, just finishing up a personal project,” he offered lamely.

James nodded slowly, “And just how long until it is actually finished?”

Q shrunk back into his chair a bit, an embarrassed smile tugging at his lips, “Ah, well that. Is a personal project ever really finished?” 

James didn’t say anything as he walked into the room, placing the mug of tea next to his elbow, glancing pointedly at the clock pinned to the wall above them. 

It was hardly the first time that Q stayed up late on projects or jobs. It was a regular occurrence actually. Only this was the second night in a row that he’d not come to bed. That alone was a grave offense in Alec’s book, but it was also beginning to concern James. The only sleep he’d seen Q manage in the last 48 hours was cat naps across his desk from where he’d slumped over in exhaustion. The dark marks under Q’s eyes were like a badge of shame against James for not taking better care of their youngest lover. 

Q bit his lip, absently returning to his typing with a nod of thanks for the tea, grimacing when he sipped at it to reveal the lack of caffeine inside.

“Q, love, you need to rest. In case you have forgotten, we don’t have any boss to report to. We don’t even have a current job lined up. You can take a break and come back,” he pointed out, pushing the half eaten plate of food closer to the lithe man currently trying to avoid eye contact with him.

James leaned in closer, “It’s not healthy, Q,” he said, placing a tender kiss to his clothed shoulder and rubbing his hand up and down the knobby spine. 

Q’s left eye twitched, but he didn’t glance away from the screen, “I’m fine. I’ll come to bed in a bit. I know my limits.”

Biting back further scolding, James nodded sharply and stood up.

“I’m going back to bed then. If I’m gone much longer then Alec will wake and come looking for the both of us,” he said, trying not to sound upset as he walked off back to their bedroom.

He crawled onto the sheets, not bothering to get under them where there was no skinny heat hog to warm up. Alec grunted in his sleep, turning over and patting absently on the bed until his hand found James hip. A frown marred his handsome face, but he didn’t wake. They were used to it being just the two of them in bed on jobs. Alec wouldn’t wake to Q’s absence. Still, James still felt bothered that Q claimed to be lonely and yet wouldn’t even join them at night. 

Perhaps Q was having a “bad day”? James would have to ask in the morning, not wanting to get back up again, knowing it would wake Alec up for sure this time. At least one of them deserved to get some sleep.

James let himself fall back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling until he could hear the neighbors awake around them. 

Q never came to bed.

\-------------------------------------------

A few days more passed much in the same way. 

Q was distant, reserved, distracted. He was no less loving or sweet towards them, but his attention was clearly elsewhere. Hell, he couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention to himself it seemed.

Alec had seen him walk into a wall twice this morning alone as he walked around with a laptop balanced on one hand as he fumbled through the kitchen to make more tea. 

“We could pack a trip to Tahiti using only the bags under his eyes,” Alec commented out loud as he and James watched their lover pad around the linoleum floors, oblivious to the fact he was being watched like a live nature channel. 

James huffed out an annoyed breath, far less amused by the last few inattentive days than Alec. He clenched his hand tight, a familiar blue plastic tube peeking out between his fingers.

“Did he eat last night?” James asked, knowing Alec had stayed up late as well to keep an eye on him so James could take a break.

Alec shrugged, sipping at his black coffee, “If you count tea and a sleeve of digestives as eating. He damned near tripped over his own shadow coming in here at 2 am digging around for some. Still had his laptop with him.”

James began to rub his thumb along the smooth side of the inhaler, “Any sounds of wheezing? Stuffy nose?”

Alec shook his head, “None surprisingly.”

Q used to get sick a lot the first years after they had reunited, chest colds plaguing him regularly through the year despite whatever season it was. It had set them both into panics each and every time, always wondering if this would be the time it got bad enough that they had to take him to a doctor. To take him outside.

“Could just be a matter of time,” James intoned darkly, wincing as he watched Q walk into his third wall of the morning.

\--------------------------

It started with the nightly watches over him, something he hardly minded since it made the early morning hours less lonely knowing at least one of his lovers was sitting one room over waiting for him to ask for anything. 

It reminded him fondly of the days when they had first been reunited. Those days were dark, horrifically tainted, and it was surprising that he found anything to be fond at all from back then, but there they were and there they still are. Ever vigilant, mere steps away if he called for them in the dark. 

He had disliked any cognizant reflection of those days, not wanting to awaken the demons that had recently been put into a deep slumber, but his mind drifted there occasionally when some familiar emotion waved over him, like a scent remembered from childhood. 

There was a comfort in knowing that either Alec or James was awake with him, even if it had nothing to do with the nightmare’s this time. He tried to ignore the small niggling sense of guilt, keeping them up when they were obviously tired and worried about him, but, like many things over the years, Q needed to wait until he was ready to come out of his self-imposed shell. Be it his mind or his hacking lair. Even years later, his first instinct was still withdrawal. Like a turtle in his shell. 

There were just too many unknowns at the moment for Q to feel safe coming out. He needed more time to process the world around him before he made his move. There was too much riding on this. Too many questions that he still didn’t have answers for. If he made a move now, if he revealed too much, this could all be halted before he even got a chance to begin. Disaster could occur at any moment, but if they knew that then they would rip him away from this before he even had time to draw breath, sensing danger threatening their sheltered life. He just wished that he could tell his lovers that, if only so that they would…cease. Whatever the hell they were doing. 

The hourly suggestions to take a break, interrupting him in the middle of coding. The threats to turn off the wifi. The pacing outside of his door...

Q’s sigh came out a lot more like one of Alec’s signature growls as one large and tanned hand appeared to place yet another plate of food at his elbow. The third iteration this morning, with the third variation of nibbles. Probably not so subtly testing what his appetite was craving. This time it arrived with some sort of vitamin supplement balanced on the edge. 

A glass of orange juice replaced his mug of tea.

Another set of large hands attempted to sneak his inhaler onto the desk.

Above his head he heard the croaking sound of the ventilation turning on followed by the flow of over-warm air into the room. 

Q dropped his face into his hands, rubbing at his temples.

“I’ll get the paracetamol,” he heard James say, his almost silent footsteps moving out of the room. 

Q dropped his head onto the desk, resisting the need to slam it there a few times. 

“Don’t you worry, kitten. We’ll get you right as rain in no time,” Alec said, the sound coming low from his left. Q wearily turned his head still laid on the desk and opened his eyes to see Alec’s concerned face hovering mere inches from his own.

Some of the annoyance died down, replaced by a tide of incoming guilt and love, “I’m alright. I’m not sick. I don’t even have a headache, I promise,” he said, loud enough for James to hear as he re-entered the room. 

“You’ve been working in here for days, darling. You’ll make yourself sick again,” James pointed out, crouching down on the other side of his chair. Soon two pairs of stunning jeweled eyes were staring up at him, lips as pouty and puppy-like as two mercenaries could possibly manage.

It was damned hard to resist them under normal circumstances. Having them both on their knees on either side of him was damned near impossible.

If not for the blinking cursor that stood starkly out on the screen in front of him. Each second wasted…

“I know my limits. Please, this is important to me.”

“And you’re important to us,” James snapped, reaching out to grab at Q’s wrist before it could start typing again. It didn’t hurt, and would never bruise, they were always so painfully  _ gentle _ with him. He loved it as much as he hated it. 

“Q, we need to put our foot down on this. It’s our job to keep you safe, and that means healthy too.”

Q frowned as he looked back and forth between the two of them, and he could see clearly from their expressions that they would indeed put their foot down if he attempted to continue. 

James' grip didn’t hurt, no. But  _ this. This _ hurt.

“You don’t think I can take care of myself?” he asked, voice quiet. 

Alec’s eyes softened, “We’re just thinking of what’s best for you.”

“How do you know this isn’t what’s best for me?” he shot back.

“Those bags under your eyes are enough evidence for me,” James shot back, just as hard, “And we’re not going to let you get yourself sick, not when it’s us who will have to sit by and watch you suffer, wondering just how bad we’ll let you get before taking the risk of finding a doctor.”

Q flinched back, the words stinging like a slap to the face, but it only built the frustration stirring in his chest. He felt his breathing increase, and he clenched his fingers around the armrests of the chair. They didn’t know. They  _ couldn’t  _ know. Not yet. It didn’t help much to prevent the frustrated tears from welling in his eyes, though he flatly refused to let them fall. 

“Come on now, to bed with you.”

The dam broke, and Q flung himself out of the chair and stomped down the hall towards their bedroom. He hardly cared that it made him sound like a petulant teen. Behind him two pairs of footsteps followed at an even pace. 

He stopped at the open door, turning around to face them. Preventing them from entering.

He took two measured breaths, staring them down.

“No. Stop. I’m going in alone. I--I can’t breathe,” he gritted out between clenched teeth.

Their eyes widened.

“Fuck, I’ll get your inhaler,” Alec said, already half turned away before Q called out to stop him.

“No! I’m not...I’m just...I need to be alone. I’ll sleep, just...I’ll see you later,” he finished, most of the anger dissipating at seeing how scared they both looked in that last second. 

He closed the door before anything else could be said.

\----------------------

James and Alec glanced at each other. Shocked.

It was the first time they could ever recall Q asking for space from them. 

James shoulders dropped wearily and he rubbed at his face. Alec clapped him in the shoulder, glancing over at him sadly, “Probably should have just gotten him the fucking cat, eh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter! I love reading what you guys have to say <3
> 
> Also, if it's a little confusing that James and Alec gave up Q in the beginning then just know that basically the Officer all but threatened to send Q away to another crap hole orphanage if they didn't agree to join the Navy. It was Q safe at a fancy school, or Q sent to shitty Boy's home. They weren't going to be able to keep him either way.


	6. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past: James and Alec's days in the Navy  
> Present: London calling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again!!!!! Just dropping this chapter in really quick before I get back to writing some more chapters for my upcoming Fantasy AU. Getting really excited to start posting it in a few weeks!!!
> 
> Nothing majorly dark in these chapters beyond a little angst. Enjoy!!!

PAST

The first four months as Navy recruits passed in a painful blur for the two of them. The only mercy that the two of them saw in that time was that they were not separated for their training, not even for their eventual ship assignment. Besides that it was a brutal shift in life dynamic for the two young men. They were no longer ignored by their superiors, but scrutinized, corrected, berated, and belittled. They held no respect from anyone else, and were expected to give it to anyone with more stripes than them no matter how much of a tosser they were. 

Worst yet, they knew nothing of Q. Communication was cut off as soon as they left St. Francis’ and even if it hadn’t been, Q wouldn’t be there anymore. They had no idea where he ended up. They didn't know if it was as safe as the officer had promised, or if he was provided with anything that had been part of the deal. They were under orders to never attempt to seek him out, and apparently Q was given the same direction. 

Not that James thought he would reach out to them, not after they basically abandoned him. They didn’t even get to explain why. 

The guilt still ate away at him like acid, corroding the tattered remains of his soul. 

Alec was no better. It had gotten to the point where the two of them couldn’t even bring themselves to mention Q, knowing it caused pain to both of them. They were suffering enough without foisting more agony on the other. Sometimes James found himself brushing shoulders with Alec on purpose, when he felt them both teetering on the edge, a way to ground them again, reminding them that they still had each other. Just as before, Alec was again the best and only thing he had in his life and James was lucky to have him by his side. This time though...they weren’t under the illusion that they didn’t need anyone else in their lives.

Giving Q a chance at a better life was supposed to take the guilt away, but instead it multiplied it the longer time went on without them knowing what had become of their young friend. It started with passive thoughts, wondering if Q had full access to his inhaler again. If he was remembering to put down the books and go to mealtimes. If he had a warm enough jacket for the upcoming winter. Was he making friends? Good friends, who would enjoy listening to his rambling thoughts? James’ heart always lurched as each question remained unanswered. 

There were darker questions too. Was he truly safe? Were there bullies waiting for a new target? Had  _ they _ found him yet? James could feel his wariness grow, wondering if they had tried to come for Q and if the school had any idea how vulnerable he truly was.

Dark shadows would cross Alec’s face in the moments between training and sleep, and James could recognize the same thoughts as if they were mirrored in his own. The only comfort they found was in the presence of each other, and in the distractions offered by their training.

It was an excellent distraction, one that the two of them threw themselves into with a fervor that they didn’t realize they had. The apathy in which they were running their lives before Q had not come back like James had thought it would. Emotions were no longer muted in their once gray world. They were bright and vibrant and only served to remind them of what was missing. The only thing to keep their minds off of the swirl was taking their training to the max, pushing their bodies to the point where they were surpassing their peers, and impressing their superiors. 

It got to the point that the officers stopped focusing on them, assuming that they were falling into place as soldiers. Learning their lives and bodies belonged to the Navy. It was amazing how becoming the perfect soldier in the military made you more invisible than if you were average. 

James and Alec hardly cared what anyone else thought though. On the outside they may have been the perfect, peaceful soldiers, but inside they were warring with themselves.

Four months. The worry never went away.

* * *

In the end, all it took to break the stony silence over Q was a book left out on their bunkmates cot. 

Alec had entered the almost empty room, relaxing for a moment when he saw that it was just him and James there, but then he tensed up again when he saw the rigid way that his friend was holding himself.

Cold and still as a marble statue, eyes glued to the covers of a cot. 

Cautiously, Alec stepped up behind James, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently.

“Alright, mate?”

He felt James shudder under his palm. It was the first visible showing of emotion that Alec had seen since the night they were ripped away from the Boy’s home. In the past months Alec had known that they were both suffering, but neither could bring themselves to voice it. It had been a pain all it’s own to know that there was nothing he could do to help his friend.

There were times that he wanted to take James and wrap him up in his arms, embracing him the way that they used to do for Q when he had nightmares. He wanted to be that comfort. But he held back. They both did, not really knowing why.

“James?”

James twitched under his grip, straightening his spine like he was coming to attention, “I’m fine. I just…” he trailed off, coughing to try and cover up the way his voice cracked. 

Alec glanced down at the meticulously folded sheets, and saw the title on the book cover, “Robin Hood. He loved that one, didn’t he?”

It was the first time either of them had referenced Q in anything other than their private moments of mental grief. At first, Alec worried he had overstepped, crossed their unnamed boundary, but then he felt James’ shoulders sag as he nodded his head.

“Yeah. He really did,” came the almost whisper. 

A silence fell between them as they looked down at the book, a flood of memories and emotions barreling through them. Hours spent on that wall, Q propped up between the two of them as he flipped through the familiar pages, James’ golden hair blowing in the breeze while Alec laughed at his own jokes. Alec had to swallow hard against a lump that formed in his throat. His grip on James tightened, as if scared that this rotten world would try to take away the second half of his shriveled heart too.

“Do you think he hates us?”

His voice was so brittle and vulnerable that Alec almost didn’t recognize it as his James. The question though could hardly be considered shocking, seeing as how Alec had asked himself the same thing a thousand times over the last few months. 

After they had promised to keep Q safe, they had been convinced...no, guilted into giving Q over to the society that had fucked him over in the first place only on their word that they would do a better job than two low life thugs with no hope in life than to become pawns to their country. At least that’s how Alec felt it went down. At the time he had been hopeful that they were giving up their most prized treasure in the hopes that it could be kept safe and cared for in a way they could never offer. 

“I think we hate ourselves more than he ever could,” Alec replied. It was the only honest answer he could offer. He wouldn’t ever lie to James. Couldn’t. 

James nodded, accepting the words.

“I miss him.”

Alec drew in a sharp breath, “Me too.”

“I’m glad you’re still here.”

A beat.

“Me too.”

After that day, soft mentions of Q became commonplace again. It hurt most of the time, like they always knew it would, but it was no longer wounds left ignored. James had Alec, and Alec had James. That was about as comforting as they could ever hope for.

That is until the day an envelope showed up on top of James’ pillow. 

* * *

Six months had passed since they had been forced into the military, leaving what felt like a piece of their soul behind at St. Francis’. Their training had ended, and both he and Alec had been given a permanent assignment aboard a new ship, once again miraculously together. They continued to be picture perfect soldiers, only the feral grins they occasionally shared between them hinting at what truly lurked beneath the bland military façade. 

They even got the chance to participate in missions, using their skills to run out whatever orders they had been given. Having taken lives before they even became of age, the objectives of these missions hardly even phased them. Soon they surpassed all expectations of their commanding officer and were told they would be on a watch list for promotion, or perhaps even recruitment for “higher powers”. 

They didn’t give a fuck for the most part. They were more loyal to each other than whoever ran the boat, but nobody was smart enough to realize that. 

Each day fell into a monotonous schedule of following orders. Be it daily chores and exercises, or missions and practice. The only light in their now very narrow tunnel was each other, and the passage of time felt hardly relevant.

James hadn’t been focused on the calendar or holidays that came and went, only realizing how long it had been when he found the letter that had been dropped on his bed. He and Alec never got mail beyond the occasional correspondence from the government regarding hazard pay or some other adult business that James couldn’t be half arsed about. 

When he opened it though and saw the familiar elegant yet rushed scrawl that he recognized as readily as his own, it damn near sent his knees out from under him. He was calling for Alec before he even registered the words on the paper.

_ Dear James and Alec, _

_ I apologize for not reaching out to you both sooner. Until now I had been forbidden from reaching out to you. Well, I am still forbidden, but until now I didn’t have a way of sneaking letters past the headmaster. It’s amazing what people will do once you have a little dirt on them.  _

_ I wanted to start off by saying that I am not angry. I deduced what had happened not long after they took you away, and I am sorry that you felt you had to give up your freedom so that I could find my own. I know what you did was for me. My hope is that someday you learn to do something for yourselves too. _

_ If it is of any comfort to you still, I am well. The school they have placed me in is full of cads, but the library is impressive enough that I can spend my time with books rather than them. You would like the grounds, James. Lots of trees and grass. The teachers are impressed with me. I am told that if I work hard over the next year and pass my exams, I may be able to attend University early. Hopefully that will be far more interesting. I am rather bored right now without Alec stealing my pencils in class.  _

_ I think often of where we might have been if our dreams had panned out as we’d hoped. I do not know if it would have been better or worse than where we have all ended up, but I do know that I miss you both terribly. Whatever they might have told you when they took you away, my life will always be better for having you both in it. Distance be damned.  _

_ There is a secure email that you can reach me by in the envelope. If you want to, that is.  _

_ I wish you both well. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Q _

_ P.S. You may have noticed your uncanny luck to have been able to attend training and get a ship assignment together. I cannot admit to any involvement in that. Even so, you are welcome. Did I mention that they have computers here?  _

As he finished reading the words out loud, James’ heart felt light enough that it threatened to lift out of his chest. He felt Alec pulling him into an embrace that he greedily accepted, pulling the other tight against him as they rocked back and forth in their shared joy. They were both laughing freely, unused smiles lighting up their faces. 

James couldn’t help but revel in the happiness he felt as not only hearing from Q, but in seeing Alec smile brightly again. He was probably glowing like a fool, but he didn’t care. Even if Q was oceans away, it felt like they were together again. Their missing limb fading back into existence with one short letter. 

And even from that distance, Q had somehow managed to keep him and Alec together, like lifelines keeping them both tethered to the shore. 

* * *

James and Alec had never used email before, but they swallowed their pride long enough to have a bunkmate walk them through the process of setting one up, and then shooing him away so that they could very slowly type up a response. Q would have probably laughed his skinny arse off watching James poking at the keyboard using only two fingers, so Alec did it for him. 

“As if you could do any better,” James growled back, but the smile from earlier was still there and lessened the effect. 

“Just double check for grammar mistakes. You know how much he hates those.”

“I remember, I remember,” James replied, squinting his eyes as he reviewed their response. It was not nearly as eloquent as Q’s letter, nor as long, but if they had to pull out a thesaurus to send a fucking email, then Q would probably not believe it was truly them.

_ Dear Q, _

_ Are they taking care of you? Are you safe?  _

_ Thank you for keeping us together. It is what got us through the last six months. Not all of us have access to snobby libraries after all.  _

_ We miss you too. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Alec and James _

_ P.S. Alec says get a haircut. _

* * *

The next day they checked their email, smiling at the little icon telling them that there was a response. It took them several unforgivably embarrassing minutes to figure out how to open it, but they figured it out with minimal insults thrown at one another.

_ Dear Alec and James, _

_ I am healthy and safe. I promise. _

_ Forever yours, _

_ Q _

_ P.S. Never. _

* * *

Life in the Navy continued for them. 

They had built up a reputation as some of the most efficient and deadly soldiers, and were sent on increasingly important and dangerous missions. More whispers were heard about recruiting the two of them, but as long as Alec and James were together and had access to email, they didn’t really care much where they ended up.

A year had passed in a flurry and Q had made it to University at the incredible age of 16. A true genius, just like they always knew he was. James and Alec couldn’t be more proud. 

Q had assured them that no more attempts had been made to steal him away, and James started to believe that maybe that part of Q’s life had finally been left behind. All the tension that he and Alec had carried in their shoulders since that day they pulled Q out of the dust faded away. 

Their contracts with the military still had many years left on them, but with Q probably in school for a while yet, they were content to live them out. They didn’t know what they would do once they earned their freedom for the second time, but whatever it was, it would probably involve seeking out Q again. 

They would have legitimate lives by then. They wouldn't be runaways still looking over their shoulders, wondering if their past would catch up with them. As much as being pulled apart almost two years ago had been, Alec couldn’t help but wonder if it had worked out for them in the long run. 

Q was flourishing. From his emails they could tell that upon reaching his new school, he was among other people interested in the same areas of knowledge that drove him. He was younger than all of them, but he was making friends even. Meaningful friends. A few names popping up repeatedly, stirring a strange feeling in Alec’s gut, telling them of his latest project with a club he’d joined. 

As for Alec and James, they were inseparable on shore and off, but with a little light back in their lives they had allowed the shadows they hid in to fade away and they too began to form friendships with their crewmates. Their off ship R&R had quickly become full of nights of drinks, bars, sex and mischief. It was all for fun and they would return to their ship at the end of it all, arms slung over each other’s shoulders, laughing about who they had taken to bed that night. They never returned to any of those beds again. The only constants that James had and wanted were Alec and Q. 

An email was always waiting for them when they eagerly made their way into the communications room onboard, and even after time had passed, the thrill of it never seemed to lessen. The frequency only served to remind them that Q  _ wanted _ them in his life. He could have easily moved on with his education, and left them to the bed they had laid themselves in with the military, but he found them, kept them together, and continued to be a constant presence in their lives. 

* * *

“Little brat still won’t send us a picture. I bet he’s trying to hide spots, or some patchy monstrosity he’s trying to grow out on his face,” Alec joked over at James one night as they were finishing getting dressed after their shower. 

James’ gaze traveled up Alec’s muscled and damp form until it came up to his Cheshire grin. He chuckled, “He doesn’t want to have his face anywhere on the internet, you know that…and he probably has spots,” he said as he threw the towel from his hips into the bin. It left him bare, but nudity hardly bothered him these days. Especially if it was just him and Alec. He was always comfortable with Alec’s eyes on him. 

“Think that hair of his has grown past his arse yet?”

James rolled his eyes, elbowing Alec playfully in the ribs, “If he still hates it tickling his neck, then probably not.”

It had become a sort of game between the two, with an as of yet untallied amount of money floating around in the ether that housed their bets, enough to retire on probably, of what Q looked like these days. Had he grown taller, added flesh to his bones, and become a startlingly different man from the boy they once held shivering in their bunks? Or had he remained a slight, pretty thing, growing more in the brain than in size? No doubt still on his way to being a full grown man, but with the remaining touches of boyhood still clinging to his overly large eyes and soft smile.

The longer time went without seeing him, the more outlandish their bets became. Dyed hair. Piercings. Modern haircuts to make any mother faint. It was fun not only because of the images it would produce in their imaginations, but because they could do so under the assumption that they  _ would _ see Q again someday.

Their emails didn’t always state it explicitly, but there was always an undertone in their shared words that it wouldn’t always be like this. This part of their lives would end and they could start their real lives. Finally. 

“Hurry up and get dressed, will you? As lovely as your arse is, I want to go read Q’s email before curfew. He’s supposed to tell us how he did on that paper of his,” Alec reminded him, his voice muffled as he wrestled back into his own off duty tracksuit. 

James made a show of rolling his eyes again, but he sped up his movements anyhow. He wanted to read the email too, after all. 

Barely bothering to tie their shoes, the two young men dashed out of the locker room, smiling bright and thinking of equally bright futures.

* * *

There was no email awaiting them when they got there though. Nor did it arrive when they sty there for an hour waiting, staring at the screen.

And no email followed the next morning when they skipped breakfast to check.

A week passed.

Nothing.

The smiles faded, and so did their thoughts of the future.

* * *

PRESENT

After some rest, Q had emerged from their bedroom looking as put together as he had ever managed right after sleep. Sleep without them that is. He nodded pleasantly at both of them as he pulled some leftovers and a bottle of water from the fridge and then pointedly moved straight back into his office and closed the door firmly behind him.

James and Alec let him go with no protest. 

He appeared again at the end of the day, claiming he was starving and that he wanted curry, seeming to have either forgiven or forgotten their fight the night before. It was shocking to the two of them, but the relief was strong enough to silence them completely and to frantically pull out their stash of take out menus. 

Alec and James never claimed to be cowards. They had faced down bombs, guns, knives, and some really pissed off blokes before without breaking a sweat, but Q being angry at them caused a totally different kind of fear that set their blood cold. They didn’t fear him physically, although he could deliver some wicked blows with those sharp elbows of his. The feared separation. Distance. Be it over oceans, in the shadows, or just behind a closed door.

It was a rare event, thankfully, but being shut out by Q like that had set loose demons that they had thought long caged in the darker parts of their lives. 

Alec knew intimately what it was like to be rejected by someone who is supposed to love you, and the two of them....they had already felt what it was like to have Q ripped away from them before. To live without knowing if they’d ever get him back. 

They’d eaten their dinner together at the table while Q told them about the line-up of missions that he had compiled that afternoon. It felt normal, natural. Alec couldn’t sense any lingering anger from Q, and his eyes sparkled again with mirth and love when he looked between the two of them. 

After dinner, Q had begged off of dishes so that he could shower, and Alec had eagerly volunteered to do them if it meant keeping Q happy. 

Now he stood there, hands sudsy and pruned, listening to the sounds of the shower echoing through their flat, and trying to beat those demons back into their cages where they should stay. He could sense James hovering nearby, probably cleaning shit that didn’t need any cleaning just as an excuse to keep busy.

After all, that was what Alec was doing too. 

They had all been through so much, together and apart, and he hated that even after all this time they still could be set off by the smallest things. Tripping over their own laces after they had been positive they had already tied them in place. 

They were all so much better.  _ Q _ was so much better. Wouldn’t it all be so much easier if they could just...forget it all? Take all that pain away just by forgetting that there was any pain to start with. Remove all the mental and physical scars that the three of them had acquired back then. To have never let them get their hands on their Q in the first place...

It made Alec’s hands shake just thinking about it, fingers clenching tightly around the glass he was trying to wash so that it didn’t slip away. He didn’t realize he had stopped scrubbing until he felt James body press up against his back, his own calloused fingers wrapping around Alec’s wrinkly ones.

“Easy, love,” he said, his voice low and rumbling. The vibration passed through his chest almost like a purr against Alec’s shoulder blades, “He’s still here. We both are.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that?” Alec shot back, but it held no real heat.

He felt more than heard James’ sigh as he gently turned Alec around to face him.

“Last night...alarmed me, I’ll admit, but he seems okay. One small fight isn’t going to end what we have. We’ve all felt what it’s like for us to be apart. There’s no going back to that. Not for Q, or for us,” James reminded him. 

Alec leaned back against the sink, still holding the slippery glass in his hand and staring at it because it wouldn’t have James’ sympathetic gaze on him. As much as he loved being loved, sometimes raw emotions like that were still too much for Alec. Slowly he ran his fingers over the smooth surface, pushing around the bubbles clinging to the sides.

“He...slept in the bed without us,” Alec said finally, without looking up. The shut door had been one thing. The bed was another level altogether. 

James nodded slowly, “We’ve been begging him to do that for years. Maybe this is another step forward for him?”

Alec shrugged. It was possible, but it didn’t stop his insecurities from popping up like unwanted weeds. Seeing Q recover over the years had been incredible for the two of them. They knew they played a big part in that, reveling that their bloodied hands could do something good for once, and it was one of the main reasons that Alec could look at himself in the mirror most days and not hate the man looking back. 

He let out a sad sounding chuckle, “You know, I never imagined that seeing him get better would be so painful at times. Brilliant little thing that he is, he may just end up outgrowing us after all.”

“I’ll always need you.”

The soft words that came from behind them startled the two men out of their little dazed worlds, making them both jump and swirl around. Q was standing there biting his lip, towel wrapped around his tiny waist and another one draped over his shoulders as his hair continued to drip from his shower. 

Alec was startled enough that when he frantically went to put down the glass, he misjudged the distance to the counter and ended up smashing the glass in his hand. The loud shattering filled their little flat.

James and Alec both tensed up at the sound, not because it bothered them, but because of Q. 

They expected to see Q crumple on the floor like he’d been shot, tucked into a tight ball of fear that they had seen too many times before. James was probably already thinking of what calming words to whisper in his ear until he slowly unfolded while Alec was thinking of what blankets to pull from the bedroom.

Only...Q didn’t even flinch. 

His eyes were wide, but the normal pallor that came about when he was triggered by something was absent and he was moving towards them steadily.

“Alec, your hand!” he cried out, already pulling the towel from around his neck and reaching for Alec’s hand. 

Alec’s mouth was gaping as Q cradled his arm close to his damp chest, tutting over the gash that was quickly filling with blood in his palm. 

“You can bloody well set up a sniper shot from a kilometer away, but you can’t even judge the distance of the counter…” Q muttered as he dabbed at the cut, his lip caught between his teeth as he examined the wound.

“James, would you mind grabbing the kit?” he asked after a beat. It startled the older blond into motion, leaving Alec staring at Q who was calmly applying pressure. 

Taking care of their wounds was nothing new to Q who had all but gotten his nursing degree through the internet learning how to care for whatever they managed to do to themselves on missions. Hospitals were risky for all of them after all. 

This time though, Alec  _ really _ looked at Q. 

Gone was the scrawny and timid eleven year old they once knew, and now it also seemed like the traumatized young man they once knew was almost all but gone too, leaving behind someone who looked comfortable in his skin and could swallow back his past fears long enough to care for a loved one. 

Q never looked more beautiful than at that moment.

Although the loose towel slipping from his hips may have helped with the overall image. 

James came back with the kit just as Q took a closer peak at Alec’s hand, humming in approval, “Looks like we won’t need to practice our sutures tonight. Just needs some disinfectant and a bandage and it’ll be good to go for your next job.”

“Thanks, kitten,” Alec said fondly. 

As Q began to bandage up his hand, a growing look of guilt started to shadow his youthful face. 

“I’m sorry about all this,” he began saying before both Alec and James tried to cut him off with their protests.

Q shook his head firmly though, remorseful gaze swiveling back and forth between them, “No, I heard some of what you were talking about before. I know that my actions last night were a bit brash, but I truly wasn’t looking to hurt either of you. I know I worry you. I hate that I worry you,” he paused, dragging in a ragged breath, “Maybe I was more tired than I thought, but it doesn’t matter because you take such good care of me, and I love you both so much, I just...I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you do for me,” he finished, looking up at the two of them, eyes shining brightly in the dim light of the kitchen. 

“Of course we know, darling,” James murmured as he knelt down next to his two lovers. 

“We love you two, little one,” Alec added, pulling Q in against his chest and holding him there tightly while he felt James’ arms circle around both of them.

Alec buried his face in those silky, and familiar curls, breathing in deeply, “Sorry about the glass, love. Are you alright?”

Q snorted from somewhere against his chest, “I’m not the one with a gash in my hand. I’m fine, I promise. It...I knew I was here, and not...there. I’m fine.”

They believed him. 

They stayed like that for a while, soaking in the knowledge that they were together, safe and still deeply in love with each other. They only moved when Q quietly begged the two of them to take him to bed. All of them. 

* * *

An hour later three three men lay in a tangle of limbs and sheets upon their bed, their skin still slick with the sweat they had worked up between them. James still lay flat on his front, arms and legs stretched out in all directions, not having moved from where Q and Alec had peeled themselves off of his back not even ten minutes before. 

Q was curled up on his side, tucked close to James’ flank, having fallen there after he had pulled out of the blond’s arse. He looked doubly debauched, seeing as he was taking Alec’s cock at the same time he fucked James. His long coltish legs were carelessly sprawled on the bed, as if too weak to move them into a more comfortable position. 

Up from the head of the bed was Alec, looking far too smug over the condition of his lovers, but James would let him have this moment. James was far too content and pleasantly sore to care that he still hadn’t moved. 

Eventually, Alec seemed to take pity on the two of them, taking charge of the clean up and rearranging his floppy companions back under the blankets and tucking them all in close. 

As thoroughly exhausted as their bodies were, their brains were still wide awake, seeing as it was still early evening. James lay there with the two other men, holding them close as Q started to fill the silence with his soft chatter. 

As always, he and Alec listened as Q would talk about anything that struck him in that moment. The new viral video he watched that morning. The new oreo cookie flavor that was coming out and that he wanted to try. The long list of upcoming jobs he had lined up for the two of them. A new species of beetle that had been discovered in some forest somewhere. 

He sounded normal, content. Happy even. 

James had been so relieved to have Q back to his normal self after last night, he could almost pretend that nothing had happened. That Q hadn’t admitted to being lonely. That Q hadn’t been distant for days while working on a personal project. That he had snapped at the two of them and slept alone for the night. There was more to Q’s behavior than he was letting on, but in that present moment...he was so happy. James just wanted him to stay like that forever, to never see dark shadows through his eyes again. 

“Q…” James whispered when Q paused in his latest updates.

“Mm?”

“We want you to be happy--” James said into the darkness of the room. He heard Alec’s breathing pick up, tensing as he felt James move into dangerous and still raw territory.

“I am happy,” Q replied with a feeling, turning over in the sheets until he was facing James, cupping his jaw lovingly.

James smiled, and pulled his hand towards his lips, kissing the soft skin of Q’s palm, “Perhaps right now, but I’m talking about in the future. Is there something we haven’t been doing? Something you need? Want? And please, be honest. We would give you the world if you asked for it.”

“I know you would,” Q replied softly, his eyes flicking downwards as he gnawed at his bottom lip.

“Tell us, little one,” Alec prodded gently. 

Q was silent between them. James knew that he was truly thinking it over, otherwise he would have just blurted out by now that he had everything he wanted, and he tried not to hold his breath as he waited for what came next.

Already he was mentally making a list of everything they would need to buy in order to get a cat, but then Q’s melodic voice broke his train of thought.

“I want to go home,” he whispered.

James frowned. Home was a foreign word for them in many ways, having never used it for any of their past haunts. Not even St. Francis’ was referred to as home. 

“Home?” Alec repeated, confusion no doubt painting his face. 

“Oh, um, I mean England, London perhaps,” Q said in a rush. 

“London is rather crowded and has more CCTV than any other city in the world. Hiding there would be difficult,” James pointed out, but he had to admit that Q could probably handle all that masterfully without even breaking a sweat. Their accents would draw absolutely no attention. It would be one of the riskier places to live, but there was a draw there that James never expected to feel. A subtle longing for a familiar place. 

Q shrugged a naked shoulder, absently tracing patterns on the skin of James’ chest, “It would be a lot easier to come by good tea, and excellent food.”

Alec seemed a bit stunned, making eye contact with James and raising a single brow in question.

Could they do this?

James sucked in a breath and let it out slow, “We’ll start making the arrangements tomorrow. London it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and tell me what you think? :D

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and let me know if you like what you see so far! :)


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